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I feel so bad for my kis.. their dad is a piece of shit! What would you do in this situation? adult content

I was with this guy for 8 years, had two beautiful daughters. He was a cheater, so I left him. He has never held a job or helped me with the girls.. & to top it off he puts everything before them. They love him soo much, but he always lets them down. They are 5 & 3 by the way..

Anyway, he went to jail for 3 months and just got out yesterday and said he was picking them up yesterday afternoon to go stay at night with him.. They packed their bags the night before and waited at the window for 2 hours.. Then he tells me.. hes gonna have to cancel because his friends are coming over for his first night out of jail.. and drinking. He won't have enough time to spend with the girls anyway! Ugh.. they cried for hours.. But thank God my SO and our families are here.. What would you do?


Asked by SuperrMommyy at 9:53 AM on Oct. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 37 (92,810 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • im sorry mommy... but just look at it as his lost.. you are doing your part and more. he can never give himself credit for shit you done it all alone. u r a great mama

    Answer by BellaDiamond at 10:21 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Honestly, I would start cutting ties. They are going to be dissappointed no matter what. You can't control him. When they get older they will understand and appreciate you and what you have done for them.

    Answer by Shanna84 at 9:54 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Wow, that is terrible!! I feel so bad for your children. It irritates me so bad to see a parent treat their kids like that. Kids should be your number one priority, not friends and drinking. It sounds like those kids are going to be let down a lot throughout their lives from their father. I would just tell him that if he's going to keep letting them down and breaking their little hearts, then he's not allowed to see them. It's not fair to those two babies. He needs to open up his eyes and see he has two beautiful children that he's missing out on. I wish I had more advice to give.

    Answer by poptart0325 at 9:56 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I would tell him when he decides to be a FATHER to call and see if your girls then have the time for HIM. I did that to my daughters bio-father and he finally started calling her regularly last year and not to my surprise but to his... she (at the age of 4) said into the phone "I don't want to talk to him. I don't like him." I have not nor will I ever "coach" her to despise him. she came to this on her own accord when he decided to walk away from her.
    Also, I stopped at about one year telling her when he "promised" he was going to do something for her. That way there is not any dissappointment... because she doesn't even know that he promised anything.

    Answer by Memigen at 9:59 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • My XH used to do this to my son. Not once, or twice... but several times. We seperated 6 years ago... and he was in prison for most of the last 6 years. He would get out on parole, and then violate and go back for another 10 months... anyway...

    I never kept DS1 from him... with the exception - I would not take DS1 to prison to visit his dad. When he was out, he would PROMISE to come get him... even to spend just a few hours with him.. and DS1 would wait outside with his bag packed until it got dark... I call "Where are you at?" Oh, (insert friend's name here) is (having a party, going to a concert, wanting to get drunk, coming over, whatever) tonight, and I'm gonna hang with him. "You were supposed to be here 3 hours ago.. you couldn't even call??" Yeah, sorry. Gotta go...

    I quit. I quit telling DS1 that his dad even called to "promise" anything.

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 10:00 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • That's just so terrible that I don't even know what to say. I just feel in my heart that no matter what, you cannot allow this to go on unchecked. He either needs to seriously get his act together or you need to start distancing them from him, because it sounds like he will bring them nothing but pain if he doesn't change.
    I know this brother and sister who went through similar issues with their dad--the parents divorced, dad had drinking problem and half the time didn't show up for his times w/ the kids, etc. These kids are both adults in their 20's now with MAJOR issues--the sister is promiscuous (looking for male attention in all the wrong places), &hey BOTH have substance abuse problems. It breaks my heart--they were such sweet kids and had so much to offer the world. I can't help but think things would have been different for them if it weren't for their POS dad.
    Please find a way to protect your girls from his hurt.

    Answer by vicesix at 10:01 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Thank you Shanna.. that's what everyone is telling me..

    Comment by SuperrMommyy (original poster) at 9:55 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Poptart.. Thank you! He's never going to grow up & the bad thing is.. hes got another baby on the way!

    Comment by SuperrMommyy (original poster) at 9:58 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • That's how my biological father was. He would tell me he was coming to my softball game and never show up. It sucked because I would tell my friends. Now that I am older, I wish I had had nothing to do with him. When I was a child, my mother was all the parent I needed. The few years I have know my step-father, he has done more for me than my bio did in 25 years.

    Answer by Shanna84 at 9:58 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Shanna. I have been with my current SO for a year tomorrow and he has been there for my girls from the start.. never let them down.

    Comment by SuperrMommyy (original poster) at 9:59 AM on Oct. 8, 2010