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Does anyone else feel this way?

I have had 2 miscarriages. Both were very early in the pregnancy. The first was just a few weeks along and the other was a blighted ovum(sp?) I always hear of people saying the babies they lost are now angels and things like that. But I never mention them and I don't think of them as children at all. It's not like I have 2 kids now. Does this make sense? I know I would feel different if it had been later in the pregnancy. And it's not like I'm not sad. I think of the pregnancies all the time but as pregnancies not babies.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Oct. 25, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (5)
  • I'm the same. I've lost 3 pregnancies and mourned the loss but I don't think of them as children. I mean, they were babies, but it's not something that I struggle to get over. Mine were also all very early, before 5 weeks so I'm sure if they were later I would have a harder time. It was hard to deal with when it was happening, but I've moved on.

    Answer by Jessy0419 at 10:33 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I get where you are coming from. I don't get it either. If it were a late term miscarriage or such I would understand. I have had 3 miscarriages. I mourned the loss of the pregnancy and of course if effected me. However, as my OB/GYN said when I had my last loss "I am surprised at how many children manage to make it to full term. If women actually new how many times they had been pregnant and lost it before actually knowing about the pregnancy, they would be shocked". If they only mourned the loss of everything else around them that actually had a chance at living, maybe I would understand. But I think religious persuasion has a big influence on it too.

    Answer by alwaysathomemom at 9:29 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Everyone is entitled to their own opinions.. if you don't feel that way, that is totally your choice.. If a mom chooses to think like that, that is your choice... I couldn't respond with how I would feel because I have never experienced that situation...

    Answer by pupmom at 9:29 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • My doctor told me when I was pregnant the first time that 60% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. We used to never know about them because women weren't *sure* they were pregnant until several months had passed. They would just think they had a "late" period or heavy period. Now that we have tests that can show on some women before they have even missed their period, we are becoming more and more aware of how many pregnancies don't "stick" - I don't, personally, consider that a lost child either. Its a natural process of the body, the body wants you to have healthy babies and it knows when something didn't take right. It's been doing this baby thing for thousands of years :)

    Answer by Serafyna at 9:34 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I've had a miscarriage and didn't even know I was pregnant. The dr. called it a spontaneous abortion. As far as thinking of "my loss" (as I don't like using the term "it") as a child, I've never really thought about it. But I agree that it would have been much harder had I known.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 10:56 PM on Oct. 25, 2008