Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Why is my husband so mean when he is drinking? He says the most hurtful things to me.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Oct. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Some people just get like that.. Hopefully he doesn't have a drinking problem.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 12:28 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I saw if someone's drinking is hurting the ones they love, then their drinking is a problem.

    I saw look into al-non if this is bothering you. I've got family members whose drinking have ruined a great many things, but all I hear is that I'm unreasonable.
    funny that I'm only allegedly unreasonable when it comes to that!
    best to you-
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:32 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Thank you SuperrMommyy. He does have a drinking problem. That is the only thing in the past 8 years that hurts our relationship. I have tried to get him help. If he would just stop our relationship would be great but he just cant do it.
    scoff333

    Answer by scoff333 at 12:32 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • My ex used to get blacked out and start fights over absolutely nothing. He was very abusive and Im so glad that I got out of that situation. I hope it isn't this bad for you, but it seems to be a trend that is happening. Best of luck.
    Beanna4406

    Answer by Beanna4406 at 12:33 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I was married to an alcoholic for 8 years.... He too was very verbally abusive whenever he'd drink (basically, every day). You can't MAKE an alcoholic stop drinking, they have to want it. I tried for a very long time. Eventually, I just had enough, and left. I'm sorry :(
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 12:41 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • He has a drinking problem and he is abusive. If he can't straighten up his act, you need to leave before he progresses from verbal abuse to physical abuse. Verbal abuse IS abuse. Abuse while drunk is still abuse.
    mikesmom65270

    Answer by mikesmom65270 at 12:42 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Some people are what I call mean drunks. Others I think just lose all their inhibitions and their true natures come to the surface when they are uninhibited. There's no way to know which is the case with your husband. Either way, you should hold him accountable for whatever he says or does to you when he is drunk, just as you should when he is cold sober. Draw some boundaries as to what you will and will not tolerate and then enforce them. Don't allow yourself to be mistreated whether he is drunk or sober.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:42 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Drunk words are sober thoughts!!! :(
    mommy2karsyn

    Answer by mommy2karsyn at 12:47 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Thank you for the advice everyone. I just wish I could push the Easy button. When he doesnt drink he is perfect for me and our family. When he drinks he says horrible things, he has dissappeared with friends for days and they bring him home wasted. He cannot just be a social drinker and have 1 or 2 he drinks until he blacks out. I have taken pics and video of him when he is like that and he refuses to look at them. He always says sorry and he wont do it again and of course like clockwork every six months he does it again. When he doesnt drink he is the person I love with every bit of myself and cannot imagine my life without him. I just wish it was easier and he understood exactly how the alchohol affects our relationship.
    scoff333

    Answer by scoff333 at 12:50 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • as long as he dont mean them than its ok
    diana398

    Answer by diana398 at 1:25 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN