Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you think they might accept me now or make our life harder (In laws)?

My fiance and I have been together for over 3 years and engaged for one. We are pregnant (though we planned to wait until we are married). The night we met, we fell crazy in love with each other, but I was in the middle of a divorce and I have a son from that marriage. Well his family judged us harshly and didn't approve of our relationship. After two years of dating we announced our engagement and they dissaproved and I was in tears (they said I wasn't good enough for him.) Do you think that they will be more accepting of me now that we are having a child or will they judge me more? Anyone go through something like this? We are so in love and live a good and responsible life, never ask for money or help, work and support ourselves. My fiance would and has stood up for me when necessary.

 
worriedmommy600

Asked by worriedmommy600 at 1:07 PM on Oct. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,335 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Not knowing your in-laws, I really couldn't say whether they'd accept you or shun you more. But, my question to you is....why do you care? None of my DH's (immediate) family likes me (except his dad) and I could give two shits. Consider the source of the those that don't like you. Mine are white trash, alcoholic, coke-heads, so why should their opinions of me matter? I learned a long time ago that his family was filled with hateful negative people who have nothing better to do than to sit back, talk shit, and judge others....therefore we have nothing to do with them. Life is always easier when people get along....especially family....but life isn't always easy.=) You and your DF have to do what's best for the two of you and your children, regardless of whether his family likes it or likes you. Hope things get better for you! Good luck!
    HaydensMama07

    Answer by HaydensMama07 at 2:03 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Not having met them, I can't say whether they will be kinder to you. However, your fiance needs to explain to them that if they wish to have a relationship with him or their grandchild, they must figure out a way to treat you with warmth and courtesy. If you and your fiance won't allow them to treat you like that, they won't.
    annabellelee

    Answer by annabellelee at 1:10 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Even if you have a baby it doesn't mean that they are going to be kinder to you. But I agree with Annabellelee that your fiance needs to set down some ground rules if they want to be apart of the babies life. They dont have to love you, heck even like you but they need to respect you as his wife & the mother of his soon to be born child.
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 1:16 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • You decide how you let people affect you. You're never going to be able to make everyone happy. If there is a certain set of people in his family that are that way now, I doubt getting married and having a baby is going to change it. I'd just stay away from them as much as possible.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 1:53 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Don't let em get you down. If the two of you are in love then the other don't matter just do your best to be as kind as possible and if they just continue then do your best to be cordial and just not let it affect you. They'll learn and they'll grow... Just know that
    littlestar85257

    Answer by littlestar85257 at 1:10 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Had this same prob and 2 years later me and the ex are history!

    Honey I feel for you alot! I nkow what its like. My mil hated me with a passion! She said that it was my fault that her son got with someone like me and I should have stayed in my own place. When she found out I was pregnant, She asked him in fron of me, if he was 100 percent sure that the baby was his. when he said yes, she became a lil nicer, and we started getting along, but as soon as I had my daughter she exed me out and didnt want to have anything to do with me. Soon after we got divorced.
    KaylynnsMommie2

    Answer by KaylynnsMommie2 at 1:40 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • KaylnnsMommie2. That is what happened with my ex-husband! His mother HATED me with a passion and pushed for a paternity test. I was 19 at the time and had it done just to get her off my back but she STILL hate me. I had no other problems with his family but her. She tried several times to take my son from me and my ex-husband never stood up for me. After 5 years of a hell of a marriage I left and divorced him....more like I divorced my mother in law!

    With my now fiance it is only his brother who doesn't like me (they are upity and think they are the perfect...yes, they have said they were perfect!!) but my fiance has no problem standing up for me so I'm not worried about my fiance and I's relationship. Just want this child to have a good family circle and I DON'T want the stress that my ex-mother in law gave me. His brother doesn't want children but are the type to tell you how to raise them..grrrr! We just avoid them.
    worriedmommy600

    Comment by worriedmommy600 (original poster) at 1:49 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Same problem here with two ex's......My first was my ex-husband whose parents despised me...we got married anyway and had 2 children......by the time I was preggo with my second child my ex was gone......then there's my recent ex-fiance whose parents liked me at first until we started living together. They never stopped causing problems for me. Both of my ex's made fair attempts at telling the parents to stop the fighting and hate. In the end, with both failed relationships and now a single mom with two kids (only from one father), I've figured out it doesn't matter what happens or what you do to make them like you, it will never work. I had done everything for both my ex's parents and nothing worked....they just never liked me...ever. The minute that we started having problems in each relationship it seems that it slowly went downhill and back off to mommy and daddy they go for support, the very people who hate you...no good
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 1:55 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN