Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

What to tell my boys?

So my fiance walked out on me and my boys Saturday. He was not the biological father, but the only father they'd known as their bio-dad really doesn't have much to do with them. So my boys called him dad, for 2 years they've called him dad. Every night now they're scared to sleep in their rooms so they sleep in my bed (they are 3 & 5), and they still ask where dad is and ask me every single night if dad will come give them a kiss goodnight. The routine they've been used to since they can remember. How can I handle this? I've told them that "dad" isn't coming back. What would you do? Whats the safest way to handle it without hurting them? Any thoughts? Thank you ladies!

Answer Question

Asked by LynnB1 at 2:40 PM on Oct. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (339 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • the only thing i can advice is to not lie to them in telling them things like i will call him & see if he can come to kiss you goodnight, i did that w/my lil one& it was a big dissapointment& mistake because my son didnt see if i was asking or not he just saw daddy never came, he never knew i wasnt asking.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • well, my dad didnt leave but my mom committed suicide when i was younger. no one really knew how to explain it to me and i had a lot of issues growing up because of it and it was so scary, even when i was a teenager. and then one day, my now-husband's grandfather explained it like this: parents and adults are only human and they make mistakes. they might never realize that they made a mistake but the best thing you can do for yourself is forgive them.

    i'm so sorry that you and your sons have to go through this. at that age, they can't understand why pop told me, but maybe you could find some way to explain that. maybe you could find something to do in place of them getting a good night kiss from dad. its going to be hard but they will get through it and one day they'll realize how strong you were.

    Answer by erinwhitt at 2:47 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • What ever you do not lie to them

    Answer by LiLJeni at 6:26 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.