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2 Bumps

cheating

Has anyone ever cheated on a spouse and would like to explain what it is like after the affair is ended to help me understand what my spouse is going through? I dont feel any remorse from my spouse. To much time invested to just give up not to mention the children. Before this he was the best of everything and there has been many many wonderful years.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Oct. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • no, i got too much too lose and I got too much respect for myself and my family to do that.

    tempted or daydreamed about it? I'll admit that, but I would never act on it.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 2:59 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Cheating is very very individual. Everyone who chooses to cheat chooses to for their own reasons. Some make the choice because of they are unsatisfied/unfulfilled/unhappy within their marriage.. Others because they are unsatisfied/unfulfilled/unhappy with themselves.

    Why a person chooses to cheat. What type of relationship the affair was (sexual only, one night stand, long term love affair..ect) affects why it ends & how a person feels after it ends. What the state of the marriage is BEFORE The affair affects the affair choice and recovery. Why the affair ended affects recovery. Feelings for the affair partner...etc.

    I could go on and on. It is incredibly individual. I never cheated. But my husband did many years ago. We went to indivual councelling, joint councelling, I went to group meetings, read books.. etc etc.. I learned a whole hell of a lot about a subject that I never wanted to know a damn thing about..
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:13 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Any suggestions on a good book for my friend? I can tell by your answers you learned more than you ever wanted to know.
    2hurt

    Answer by 2hurt at 3:15 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Tell her.To check out these 2 websites and they can offer so much help and information. These weren't around 16 years ago when I went through that hell. But a good friend of mine experienced the same hell a couple of years ago. And she found so much support, help, information etc.. on these sites.


    http://survivinginfidelity.com/


    http://www.marriagebuilders.com/


    These 2 sites have TONS of resources, articles, book suggestions, etc.


    Whether your friend and her husband choose to reconcile and rebuild. Or choose to end their marriage.  Either way, the decision in regards to which to do will be one of the hardest choices she has ever made in her life.. And whichever road they take, stay or leave, it will be one of the hardest roads she has ever had to walk in her life.  Either way is pa

    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:25 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Thanks I will pass that on. I hope they survive this and I just really in my heart feel he knows he made a mistake and wants to do what is right for everyone. I think he realizes the woman he was involved with was using him.
    2hurt

    Answer by 2hurt at 3:27 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I cheated on my last husband..it was gut wrenching..i felt guilty and I hated it. But I divorced my husband and am now with the guy I cheated with. It's hard because we definitley have trust issues and he thinks I will do it to him. But my marriage was love-less and I actually love the man I'm with and I know it. There was nothing left of my marriage because we only married because I was pregnant. Totally different situation but I did hurt a lot of people in the process and I'm not proud of myself at all. There is a whole other level of shame that comes with cheating, that only a cheater understands.
    VanessaMomof2

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 4:01 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

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