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Would you leave your DH/SO if he was ruining you financially and not really trying to fix it?

DH has crappy credit due to his EX leaving him with ALL the bills. Because of that, all of our bills are in my name(so no HUGE deposits). Most of the bills get paid on time or at least within a day or two of being due. Except the car payment. By the time all of the bills are paid & groceries gotten, there is NO money left to pay our car so it hasn't been paid on time in more than 5 months(when I got FA money for school). The car is in my name, because I bought it before we even started dating. Paying it late is screwing up my credit & making it hard to save up for any big money(minivan or house) items. I have tried to get him to change some of his bad spending habits, but it's not working. I am working on getting a job to help pay for bills, but I think that would make his spending habits worse. All the stress is starting to effect my health & ability to take care of the kids. I've done everything but take his debit/credit....

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trish2tew

Asked by trish2tew at 3:32 PM on Oct. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (427 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • (CONT) away from him. I don't know what else I can do, and I am starting to resent him. I'm thinking about leaving after the(my) car is paid off at tax time and I have a job.

    Any suggetions?
    trish2tew

    Comment by trish2tew (original poster) at 3:34 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Why won't he stop spending? If there's no money, he should realize that he needs to stop spending money.
    erinwhitt

    Answer by erinwhitt at 3:36 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Take the debit card. Remove him from the bank account. Do it under the guise of protecting your family assets from his ex wife.

    Some people can't handle money. No amount of cunciling or education fixes it. Some people should never be allowed to touch money. Take control. It will suck to do it at first, but the benefits in the end.... A happy stable family for your children!
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 3:38 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • So he was messed up financally at first because of his divorcing is ex wife? And he is not good with money anyways (bad spending habbits).

    Get a job, open your own accout. That way he can not touch your money. talk to him about the money. If he refuses to change. Get rid of him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:42 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Run before you almost lose everything!
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:46 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I'd sit him down and have a long talk with him! Let him know that you are tired of shouldering all of the financial burdens and it is time for him to 'man-up', put his family first and start helping pay bills - or it is over! I'd make out a budget and show him exactally where the money is going , and how much you are short each month. I would also start looking at places that you might be able to cut back on things. I would open my own bank account and put the money in there and not give him access. He would be lucky if he got a very small allowance- and once that is gone that is it no more. If he refuses to cut back and refuses to help then it is time to walk away and leave him to handle his bills and debt by himself.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 3:47 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

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