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What to do? Need help and Advice

I had a baby when I was 14(Im now 31). My stepmother had made me sign adoption papers when she was born. She threatend me and told me if I kept the baby then she would kick me out. So I sign the papers. So at that time I was told that the adoption was closed. Then to find out now it was open. The lawyer who did the adoption is no longer in business.So now she is 16 years old. Im supposed to wait until her 18th birthday to find her. All I know is her name is Kelsy. She was born January 26,1992. I had her at swedish hospital in Seattle, Wa. Im curious to know if she is doing ok. Ive since then had 5 more children. But Im really upset at myself for that but I know that I couldnt raise her good when I was that young. So my question is should I proceed to find her at this point. All I want is to let her know that I never stopped thinking about her and I will let her choose if she wants to be a part of my life.

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momof5kidz

Asked by momof5kidz at 11:12 PM on Oct. 25, 2008 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • try www.who-me.com I think thats the site
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Do all you can to find her girl!
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 11:59 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • As an adopted child, I would like to know the story from my biological mother. It might bring up some weird feelings, some hurt feelings, etc, initially, but you have a chance to make a connection no one else has. Just my thoughts... oh and please stop beating yourself up. You made the best choice with the best information you had at the time. I'm sure my bio mom did too =) We're all human.
    KnoxvilleDoula

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 6:36 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Hi. I'm a Seattle adoptee who searched there successfully


    Was your daughter born and adopted in King County?  You may have to wait until she is 21 years old to search for her using any state, court resources....(you can find more info about the Confidential intermediary.program here  http://apps.leg.wa.gov/RCW/default.aspx?cite=26.33.343  )


    but there is no law that says you may not search on your own.  I would try and obtain non-identifying info on her and her family.  PM me and I can help you find those resources.  You are entitled to obtain her ORIGINAL birth certificate (listing you as her Mother)  I think that would be a wonderful gift for her when the time comes.... 

    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 8:12 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Contact WARM (Washington Adoptee Reunion Movement) and they can provide some help.

    http://www.warmsearch.org/


    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 9:49 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Yes. But do some preparation first as regards to reunion issues. Check out the sticky posts in my reunion group. http://www.cafemom.com/group/14715
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 12:15 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Please wait until she is older (18/21 whichever is the required law in our state). You (or she) can go and request the file to be open and see the records. Let her high school years be a great one!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

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