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If your parents molested you and you want nothing to do with them would you still go to family events?

my sis wants all of us to go bowling for her sons birthday. I have not spoken to my parents for 5yrs and my husband and I do not want them around us or our kids.(My sis has decided she thinks it's ok for them to be around her son). I told her I am not going to the bowling alley but will buy him a present and do something special (hes turning 2). Im sure this is going to come up again about holidays ect. Opinions?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:21 PM on Oct. 8, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • No I wouldn't suck it up nor even acknowledge they exist for that fact. Them being there is unacceptable for one thing and for the second thing it is wrong for your sister to even expose HER child to monsters like that, period. Once a molester always a molester! Pure sadness!
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 8:15 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Uh, NO WAY. Good for you for taking a stand. Your sister has her own choices to make, that is her business. You just tell her you will never participate and you hope she understands but you're not changing your mind regardless.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:23 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I'd say you're right to do that. Go ahead and buy him a special gift for his birthday and if you can, go visit outside the party when your parents are not around. Maybe during the holidays be pro-active and visit beforehand and celebrate early without them. Of course, this is also assuming your parents never apologized to you, or if they have you have not forgiven them.
    Cenchan

    Answer by Cenchan at 7:24 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Im with you and your husband on that one. Thats emotionally too much for you to handle not to mention the risk your children MIGHT be in! I would just tell you sister listen we have have birthdays, thanksgiving, christmas and so forth without them. You are more than welcome but theyre not. Maybe throw her son a little get together or playdate at your house. I dont think its unreasonable for you to not want to be around them, much less have your children around them. Good luck! Im sorry you had to be put through that
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 7:24 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I would just tell her she knows why you do not want to be around Mom and Dad. You will buy their child a present and bring it or send it to their house. Do not go if you do not want to. To any family thing if they will be their.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:28 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I understand this completely. My real father molested me (and several other children) and I don't want him anywhere near me or my children. Thankfully, I am an only child, so siblings wanting him around is no problem. But, I agree with you. Why should you have to suck it up because she choose to invite them. I am willing to bet you are not the only one upset by this. i would just do what you are planning and move on. Your nephew will be fine.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 7:45 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • mama you do what is best for you...and if your parent hurt you why would you want to be around that i so understand you...best of luck and i hope your sister understand and respects your decision...if not then oh well too bad for her =)

    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 7:39 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • He(( NO I wouldn't go. He's two. He won't hold it against you for not being there.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:03 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

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