Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

how can i convince my husband.....????

how can i convince my husband that i also work!? i am a sahm to a 22 month old and a 4 month old. i also am going to college full time. whenever we fight (which seems to be ALL the time lately) he always brings up something about him working overtime and needing all this extra sleep and that other people would do anything to have it easy like me. well i dont have it easy! i'm so mad right now at him. he said maybe i should put the kids in daycare and go get a full time job to see how much harder i would have it. sometimes i wish i did work outside the house so i could get a break. at least working elsewhere i could eat dinner in peace! i'm very grateful to be able to stay with my children, but that does not at all mean that i dont have a job! and then he doesnt even realize how much school work i do at night because he works 2nd shift and isnt here after the kids go to bed and i do my homework. what the heck can i do?

Answer Question

Asked by sweetjpea at 8:03 PM on Oct. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (367 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • This is one of the reasons I always maintained an off hours job while raising our children. We both worked (me PT), we both parented ALONE part of the week and we also had combined family time. IMO, my husband appreciated and respected me, because I contributed both at home and to our finances, and I had the same appreciation for him. Our 23 and 20 year old kids are bright, grounded and independent and each has a wonderful relationship with both mom and dad. Your husband clearly does not believe that you are working as hard or contributing as much as he does. In our house both parents were 100% contributors- I think both parties(man and wife) have to agree on the divided roles- One can not want a SAHM while the other prefers a working mother-you have to both agree.


    Answer by Sisteract at 8:23 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • your DH needs a boot in his ass

    Answer by mamagee1218 at 8:33 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I agree with mamagee! Before we had a baby my husband went to school full time using the GI Bill while I worked. I was in the Navy and worked really long hours, stood duty days, etc. and hands down my husband worked harder than I did. At least when I came home, I was done for the day, whereas he still had homework and projects to work on. There were some days that he came home from working on projects (he really helped his one buddy a lot and that guy had kids so working at school was easier for him) an hour or two before I got up from work. So I know how much time school takes and then to have kids on top of it. Your husband needs to get with the program.

    Answer by Christina807 at 9:59 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Make him stay home ALONE with them on one of his days off... Give him a To Do list (Just like what you would do each day!). I bet he changes his tune real quick!
    Another thing I might try... Do NOTHING, except take care of the kids. Don't cook his dinner or do his laundry, don't clean up or do anything else.... Then he will SEE how much you really DO!!
    Good Luck!!

    Answer by mom2maddie06 at 10:51 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.