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6 Bumps

When things get rough in your marriage...

How do you turn things around?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on Oct. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • prayer and counseling
    Phippsandrea

    Answer by Phippsandrea at 10:04 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • talking to close friends and family
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 10:15 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I guess it depends on the marriage. For us, we have been together long enough to know that we have cycles. And that when we are in a rough patch, it won't last forever. At some point, it's like the clouds clear, and things get better. It sounds cheesy, but that's how it works for us. Things work out. But, there hasn't been any cheating or drugs or abuse. There's been no alcoholism, no 'I'm not in love with you anymore' kind of stuff. I don't know what kind of rough patch sort of things you guys are facing, but it won't last forever. That I can promise you. One way or another, the rough patch will end.
    Maybe you need to just look at your guy and call a truce. I just don't know, I don't know what the problems are! But, GL anyhow.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:15 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Get advise. Try spending one on one with each other and figure out each others problems and solutions to get over it.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:17 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Prayer, talking, patience.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 10:26 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Raine is right. Every relationship has rough patches, but they don't last. Try to stay positive and communicate with your spouse. The last thing you want is for the lines of communicate to stop. It just kind of matters on what the problem is at the time. You might need to give each other some space or you might need some alone time together.
    akmccarty

    Answer by akmccarty at 10:26 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • let go of things like anger & the need to be right or control the situation. get clear on the goal which is to maintain a loving respectful partnership. don't force conversation until you have thought things through and know what it is you need to say. practice good communication such as i statements instead of blame. talk about your own needs rather than making demands. be open to the opinions of your partner and listen with an open mind - remember you are not necessarily "right" - no one is most of the time. don't make decisions based in fear or anger. be willing to admit when you're wrong. be willing to not beat an issue to death. put forth effort according to the importance of your marriage - don't expect things to just fall into place with minimum effort. seek counseling if you have recurring problems and just can't get together on things. don't think of splitting up as an option - that alone helps you focus on resolution
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:33 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • hold out on him, LOL!!!!



    j/k just a silly answer :)
    Ericha7

    Answer by Ericha7 at 10:36 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Pray alot, be slow to anger and realize that you are both individuals. I have been married to the same man for 28 interesting and fun years.
    mammamia48

    Answer by mammamia48 at 10:41 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I believe the ladies here are all exactly right. If you have real, true love for each other, your love will last and see you through. I can't say that was the case in my first marriage because I knew he didn't really love me and he was never IN LOVE with me. It was my infatuation with him that ended us up together to start with and I tried to believe it was real, but finally after 18 years had to face the fact that you can't be with a man who is not in love with you. This time though, we have real, true love that we know will endure and help us through anything we face. Hang in there and maybe find a counselor, but make sure they are a good one, there are some out there who don't really help. Remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place and remind each other of it.
    KimPippin

    Answer by KimPippin at 11:01 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

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