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How do I make my daughter not so jealous of the new baby?

My 21 month old has changed her whole personality since the new baby came home a month ago. She has stopped going on the potty, is hitting biting and throwing tantrums. She gets lots of time for herself and me alone but its not really seeming to help. She is very jealous when I am breastfeeding the baby. HELP !

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Asked by rhimarie at 1:33 AM on Oct. 26, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (5)
  • Make sure to involve her in what you do with the baby even if it is a pain in butt. Let her participate in as much as you can like diaper changing. Maybe you could even pump occasionally and let her help feed the baby also. They don't need to just have alone time, they need to feel part when your with both of them. She can help get the bed ready to lay the baby down. Just little things like that help.

    Answer by janie-o at 1:38 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Another thing we did was there are these books, I'm a Big Brother Now and I'm a Big Sister Now, and it really helped my stepson if we read it to him (many times) and he learned about babies and how they need everything to be done for them, while he was a big boy and could do some things for himself and he became very protective of her. He would bring her a blanket and say lines from the book like 'babies like to be cozy'. He started to be proud of himself for the things he could do on his own while understanding more that his new baby sister wasn't able to do those things yet so Mom n Dad had to help her and it took a lot of time.

    Answer by MRiverson at 1:42 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Same thing is happening to me and its been 4 mths. my son only hits me and he has got really violent, I made a post all about yesterday, he had me in tears, He was sitting on my lap and turned around with both hands and was pitching my neck. My son is almost 22 mths old and my daughter turned 4 mths yesterday, We had to quit breastfeeding, it got bad, he would lay on the couch and kick us, he sometimes throws toys at us. but some moments he is the best big brother, wipes her face for her, helps me out and then he gets a itch him and he lets loss. the best advice I got was try and do something just with him, Like run to the store and just take him. Good luck to you and I hope things get better or both of us.

    Answer by Codysmommy639 at 1:43 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • my daughter went through da same thing she was very jealous of her new baby brother but her doctor told me to have her help me everytime it had something to do with the baby like changing, feeding, playing and even putting da baby to sleep.. her doctor also told me to have her help me in other stuff like having mommy and her time.. its been 2 months now and she has really changed da way she was acting before,..

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • When I am breastfeeding she has hit me and bit me when I let her come sit with us. I try to let her be involved but she is only 21 months and cannot do to much. Like you said about your son sometimes she can be very nice to the baby but other times its like she goes into a complete meltdown and just freaks out. Trying to squish the baby by sitting on her or pushing on her kissing her very hard etc. I am just wondering how normal this is and if she will get over it when she realizes that she is still important and If anyone else has had this problem etc. I am scared she will hurt the baby or continue to act out and me not know how to handle it and then make it worse. I dont want to punish her because I am worried she will dislike the baby even more-she is very smart- but I also dont want her to get away with being bad- CONFUSED AND WORRIED ABOUT HER!


    Answer by rhimarie at 2:03 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

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