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2 Bumps

Not sure what to do? Do I stay or do I go? I wont let my child see me treated this way!!!

Me & my live in bf are expecting Dec 6th & he is a complete jerk. This is my first pregnancy & it has been very hard on my body physically. I go to the doc atleast evey 2 weeks I am up to 8 insulin shots a day. I have major edema in my legs & hands its painful at time. Plus this is emotionally challenging cuz i never wanted children & yes i was on birth control (Nuva ring) so I did try protecting myself . Now that I feel the baby im more in love with the baby each day. However I work full time & my bf dosent work at all tells me i over react to my pain, gets mad when i ask him to pick up which its after himself. He asks me whats for dinner when i get home from work. Calls me names on a regular basis when i complain about him drinking or smoking weed. Which i dont allow around me. We dont even talk no more. Hes never been physical with me just belittles me & accuses me of cheating when all i do is work & come home

Answer Question

Asked by ahsweetness at 2:06 AM on Oct. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (799 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • That is your decision and only yours.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 2:08 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I'd do whats best for the baby. Which is to leave that baby doesn't need to be treated the way you are being treated

    Answer by CEWarsop at 2:10 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Sweetie I'm sorry to say but this sounds like abuse to me. If you want to make it work I would suggest sitting him down and having a long talk with him. Let him know that this is not ok and you will not put up with it anymore, he needs to help you and even more so when the baby comes. Counceling might also help, if he isn't willing to work on it then you need to think long and hard about whats best for you and the baby. Good luck and hugs !!! I am going through the same thing so if you want to talk PM me anytime.

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 2:11 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • You stay.. HE GOES! Kick his ass to the curb, sister! You don't deserve to be treated that way by any man!

    Answer by FatGirl239 at 2:17 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I would leave!! You do however should let him be a part of yalls childs life! Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel? I know some men there isnt no talking to. I have been there myslfe but more of a physical abuse rather then verbal! But if he wont listen to you talk or it turns into a fight right away why dont you sit down and write a heart felt letter on how you feel. Tell him your thinking about leaving him if things dont change! and girl if your the only one working and paying the bills then he aint helping you in anyway! You can do it without him and prob be better off with out him....BUT try talking to him first and see if things change!!

    Answer by MommyofHDPnPCP at 2:17 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • thank u country girl !!!I think he is just very immature & cant accept responsibility. This is his 8th child. I know I know!!! All his children love him & he is wonderful with them & on rare occassions hes not so bad. I dont need him to provide for me & the baby at all. I just keep telling myself once i deliver I'm outta here cuz actually giving birth is fearful to me!! He brings nothing to this relationship so i dont think it would hurt to to bad to walk away! I figure i am starting to feel alone being with him so why not minus the stress. Yah know??

    Comment by ahsweetness (original poster) at 2:25 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • No actually I want to leave I moved to the city so our relationship would be more socially accepted cuz we r a mixed couple & so he would fit in better cuz i lived in an all white town where mixed couples arent acceptable to say the least. But i try talking to him all the time & yep it turns into a huge fight he cant seem to see any of his wrong doings its my fault of course.

    Comment by ahsweetness (original poster) at 2:33 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • No, do not let your child see you treated this way. Be good to yourself and think of yourself first right now. You have answered your own question. hug

    Answer by elizabr at 8:06 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • It will only get worse. You have to make the decision. What are you getting out of the relationship compared to what you're giving? It shouldn't be one-sided.

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 9:19 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • If you want to try to stay here is a suggestion that I have for you. Be happy in your own skin. Stop complaining to him and stop relying on him to make you happy. Focus on you and your baby. Take good care of yourself and your body. As you become more independant and strong he will naturally gravitate towards you. He will either see you and begin to give you what you need or he will not. If he doesn't then you have time to move on with your life without him. Either way you will find happiness within yourself and not rely on him to make you happy.

    Answer by bjane01 at 10:08 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

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