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It's Been Established From My Previous Post That When You Hear

Aww he has on a nice outfit or his eye are brown or anything but your baby is cute then that person thinks its ugly. To me this sounds worst than your baby is ugly. What do you Mommies think???

 
mekarevell

Asked by mekarevell at 2:19 AM on Oct. 9, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 39 (113,252 Credits)
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Answers (15)
  • Some babies are just ugly. Doesn't mean they won't grow into being attractive or won't be a good person... just means they're an ugly baby. I was an ugly baby and I'm both physically attractive and a good person!! ;) My first son was just a normal baby and we got normal baby comments.. my second is a lady charmer and has been since birth. He charms any lady that comes within 6 ft of him and we get constant comments.

    Don't take comments personally. People don't want to lie, but they want to say something nice. The most important thing is that YOU love your child and think he's the most beautiful thing the ever grace the earth. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
    LeanneC

    Answer by LeanneC at 2:54 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • furthermore, I do not understand this practice that so many people seem to adopt of "reading" into every little thing that people say. Sometimes people actually just mean what they say and nothing more or less.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 2:28 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I agree with LeanneC...there are some unattractive babies out there. My 1 month old has started to lose her hair, but only in the front. So she looks like an old, fat, balding man...aka my husband!! Hehehe Just joking! (kinda). I put hats and headbands on her, but i'm not nieve enough to think that she's the most adorable thing out there. I love her just the same...it's just hair. The way I look at it, noone has to comment or compliment my chidren about anything, but if they do they are just trying to be nice. I appreciate all compliments.
    sandrizzle

    Answer by sandrizzle at 2:59 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I do not care much either way. Although I have always gotten major compliments like "he's so handsome". Just today as we were leaving the playground at the school near us a teacher was coming out after conferences and exclaimed "Oh my god, that is a beautiful child, he is absolutely perfect". Word for word what she said. But I know my son is not perfect, noone is! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as they say.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 2:26 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • That's not always true, because as I answered in your post about ugly babies, I say the same thing. If the baby is cute, I don't say "what a cute baby" - I still find a feature about the baby to comment on, because if you just say "how cute" it's sort of like a "throwaway" compliment about the baby, so I try to make a specific positive comment. Same thing if the baby isn't so cute - I try to find something nice about the child to comment on.

    Plus, sometimes the outfit really IS very cute and something to comment on, and it's more a commentary about how truly cute the outfit is, and not about the baby wearing it. :-)

    Besides, I really don't think that most moms, being complemented on their babies, are really going to be breaking them down and analyzing them to look for hidden, negative comments inside them :-)
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:27 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Often it is the fantastic eyes that contribute to or makes the child cute. Why tear apart the compliment, just accept it. And appreciate the giver for taking the time.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 3:26 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • In all honesty the best compliments I've gotten about my kids have not been the ones about their looks - I mean really that's so random, it's not through anything I did that I had cute babies, it's just luck of the draw. But we've had strangers walk up to us in public places like restaurants and comment on our kids behaviour (in a positive manner) and as a parent that means more to me than someone saying how cute my son is. Because that means that I am doing something right as a parent - not just winning a genetic lottery.

    Even in babies personality can take them farther than their looks. I've seen some ugly babies totally win people over with a winning smile and playing peek-a-boo. Plus it is amazing how some babies need to grow into their features - an ugly 3 month old becomes a really cute 12 month old.

    And you know what - sometimes an outfit is super cute - or the baby has striking eyes - or ...
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 11:48 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I think both of those are probably individual...

    If someone looks at eyes first (and lots of people do), they'll comment on the colour of a child's eyes, even if they think the child is beautiful. It's no indication of anything except that the person speaking has noticed the child's eyes.

    I notice cheeks... I notice kids who look like muppet babies (because I think they're unreasonably cute!)... I notice the startling eye colours, and when babies look a lot like the parent I know...

    None of that means I think a child is ugly --it's just what I notice.

    You see... some people are not nearly as critical in nature as others. You can never know for sure unless you ask. And I can't imagine what kind of masochist would want to confirm someone's vicious criticism...
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 4:18 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I have found beauty in every child. Just because we generally can not see it as the mother can does not make it ugly. They may think our child is ugly while we see how adorable it is. In realizing this, I just focus on that it is a little human being and very precious.
    MaryWolfe

    Answer by MaryWolfe at 7:28 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • C'mon, once you get past the newborn stage (when all babies look like old men) don't you know already if your baby isn't what people would generally call cute? You don't need other people's reinforcement to tell you, you can use your eyes. We're all programmed to find a certain combination of features (big head, eyes, ears) cute, and bilateral symmetry beautiful. And anyway, there's more to life than being nice to look at.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 8:44 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

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