Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

7 Bumps

what would you do if you thought your husband was cheating on you but you had no proof?

he is always drinking and always gone.
is it just me that he hates or does he have someone else that he loves?
would you leave on suspicion?
what should i do?

Answer Question
 
crunkhippie

Asked by crunkhippie at 3:44 AM on Oct. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Goodness... what a tremendously vague question.

    I am not a suspicious person --cynical and sarcastic, absolutely... but I trust people out of hand until they supply me with a VERY good reason not to.

    My husband spends as much as 9 months a year in different cities and countries. I could spend all day worrying about him screwing around... just as he could easily spend a great deal of time fretting about me screwing around.

    Or, we can look respectfully toward each other and expect better.

    I know it's a very real possibility...lots of people do. Will I spend 12 months out of 12 fretting about it? Only if I want to behave toward my husband with an attitude of 'you're probably going to cheat me' --which I have to tell you: if it were aimed at me, I'd go get the orgasms to go with the disdain and disrespect. If I'm going to get the b.s., I might as well get the fun part.

    Find something valuable TO YOU to do with your time.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:53 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • The fact that your hubby is gonna all the time and not for work but to sit in a bar to drink and get drunk or over at a buddies house getting drunk. That i think the only thing in his life that he is replacing you for is his beer in his hand. Not all men that are running the roads out all the time getting drunk don't cheat on there wives, YES some do but i would say go with what your gut is saying. If i was you i would be putting my foot down on the fact that you are home with the kids and he is sitting his ass some where else with a beer or drink in his hand.Sounds to me you have a problem that needs to be dealt with and it's not cheating but a drunk alcoholic hubby.

    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 4:11 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I would just wait. I would keep my eyes and ears open. If he is cheating. Something will happen and he will slip up and I will find out.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:48 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Talk to him.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 5:49 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I posted this exact same question a few days ago. It is such a horrible feeling! I don't have the problem of him out all the time though if I did I don't know what I would do. I hope things work out for you! Good Luck!
    Darla47

    Answer by Darla47 at 5:52 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Maybe there are other things going on, maybe he is feeling depressed about something. Talk to him.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:17 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I'd need his side of the story, too. Hard to judge a total stranger we know next to nothing about.

    If you have suspicions, then look for some signs or clues (on the cell or computer). He may just like hanging out at the bar with the guys and drink and play pool for longer than he should (for all we know).
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 8:04 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I'm going through the same thing, for over a yr now...my hubby rarly comes straight home to me and his 2 kids when he gets out of work, he says he 's visiting friends, ( that I'm not allowed to meet ) because he says if we got into an argument them i would embarrass him calling his friends or looking for him there ( that's bs)....so the other day i found this recording device in my sons room that recored audio and pic. I placed it in his car ( where he goes every night to make a phone call to a so called friend for 20 min or so and smoke a joint) he said while talking to his friend he had this feeling like someone was listening and looked through the car and found it ( WTF ) and he say's if i ever do that shit again he's leaving me, because of me not trusting him....but why is he so secretive if he not doing nothing wrong????I even tried checking his cell and he erases all history from it daily????
    angie3897

    Answer by angie3897 at 10:25 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Just talk to him.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 11:43 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I seen a situation where a guy was doing the samething and oneday he introduce this girl to his s/o that he has been I'm a relationship with for almost 10 as his niece. So oneday he came home drunk and ended up telling his s/o that the girl wasn't his niece it was the girl he's been n still is cheating on her with. Now I'm not saying that's ur dh but if he is oneday it will come to the light. Nothing hides forever
    lovelypisces

    Answer by lovelypisces at 11:52 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.