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scared to hurt my toddler

i have been in such painfull stress, and my 32month old is very aggresive, i almost swung a hard thrown fist at her but hit the pillow by his side. if i would of hit him i would of defenitly knocked him cold. i ask for help but they say its just tantrums but he really has been throwing hitting spitting and and throws his food. is their anger management for tots. My doctor says its normal. i say its not,

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:10 AM on Oct. 26, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (15)
  • you need counseling not your toddler

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • you-really-need-to-talk-to-someone---the-lo-might-be-agg-but-you-have-to-learn-to-deal-with-it-better-

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 3:19 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • don't take this as harsh or criticism.....You need a time out! It is never ok to strike a child in anger...Never! When you feel out of control...walk away! You need to get control of yourself and only then...after 25 to 30 minutes...then deal with the problem ! We need to be an example of how to manage stress to our children. They are watching and modeling their behavior after you. Be careful what you are teaching them. And Never...never...touch in anger!
    Take care and get yourself some rest. Maybe an anger management class or two would help too!

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 3:26 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • I don't know more than what you tell me but I think I have a trick or two you could try. When he gets so angry that he is throwing things or hitting ect. Start to see if it's when he doesn't have the words to communicate to you what he wants or need. My oldest son is now 2 1/2 yrs and I used Baby Signs with him (home signs not from a book just ones we understood at home) to have him show me what he wanted like "more" or "that one" and also got him to say "please" using sign. I noticed he would get upset or angry when he couldn't tell me what he wanted and I wasn't figuring it out. Once I gave him the sign he stopped throwing the fits.

    Answer by Leauna at 3:34 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Also with the stress you are feeling your children will pick up on that and use it against you without relizing it. Esspically if all they need to do is throw a fit and they get their way ( I don't know if that is happening in your house but I see it with my step mom and dad and thier boys) You should talk to your DR about the stress and see if there is something that you can take to take the edge off. If you don't want to go to your DR then take an asprin everytime you feel like you are about to go out of controle. This will help take some of the edge off but you may need to use something stronger at first thats why I suggested your DR. And if you go to your DR and he/she doesn't help you CHANGE DRS!!!! Find one till they listen and understand what you are going through.

    Answer by Leauna at 3:35 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • The last thing I'm going to say is that the next time you feel like kicking your childs a$$ (trust me I've been there.. Just yesterday infact lol) Have him go to his room and you go lock yourself in yours scream hit a pillow what ever but try not to do this infront of him. You don't want him to fear you and for you to have to get to that extream before he will listen.
    I know it will be hard and it will take sometime for him to learn a new way of communicating with you but it will get better. And those feelings of "that's the straw that broke the camels back" is NORMAL!!!!! You just have to controle your out burst and help your son to learn to controle his as well. I wish you the best of luck and I know you will find that light at the end of this tunel.
    If you feel like chatting some more feel free to PM me!! I'm online all the time

    Answer by Leauna at 3:36 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Sorry that was soo long I just totally understand what you are going through well maybe not all of it LOL but at least the parts I talked about :)

    Answer by Leauna at 3:37 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • We all get stressed out at time raising our kids. BUT you cannot allow your own emotions to take over. Next time he throws one of his fits, have a box ready and take one of his toys and put it in the box in front of him. Let him know that what he is doing is wrong and when he learns to stop, you will give the toy back. If he throws a fit again, do the exact same thing even if it means you do it until the box is filled. He will get the point once he no longer has toys. You have to be consistant with it. Make sure and put the box in a place he cannot get to. This is just one idea on punishment without being physical with him.
    You need a timeout for yourself. Even if it just a couple of hours away.

    Answer by kscmbz at 3:59 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • It will be alright. and look you have taken the first step in seeing there is a problem. I believe Leauna has it right. Kids are not little adults. They learn by what they see and hey you are going to be better because you have already reached out. Try attending a parenting class and keep taking them as long as you need to get you through this. As for your DR demand help from them and if they don't listen, go to another one. It will be alright. Just remember don't get down to the childs level you are their role model. And you are showing that you are on your way to being a better one. And I would PM Leauna shes got the right idea.

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:32 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • If you haven't called your OB, do so. You didn't say who told you that it was just tantrums. You just say they. You may have PPD and your OB will be able to help you. If you did call your OB then call someone else.

    Answer by Christinemg0813 at 8:29 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

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