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Will my son be alright?

We just found out I was pregnant and my son is 3, he'll be almost 4 when the baby arrives. Both of our families worlds' revolve around him. I'm afraid I've ruined his life (overreacting, I know). But will he be ok? My hubby is an only child and likes being one. I have a younger sister (younger by 7 years) so I won't know how to relate either. Are any of you in this situation and how have your kids done?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on Oct. 9, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (12)
  • My firstborn was an only child (and the first/only grandchild on both sides of the family) for the first 7 years of his life. He did perfectly fine and your little one will be fine too.

    Answer by FootballMom85 at 8:21 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • It may be hard. Just start now in letting him know that no matter how many children there are he will have a very special place.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:26 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Your son may actually be excited about getting a baby brother or sister. You haven't ruined his life, just shaken it up a bit. My twins were 5 when my daughter arrived and they were thrilled to get a baby sister.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:40 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Kids that young are remarkably resilient. Start now telling him he's going to be a big brother. Play up the privileges that big brothers get -- later bedtime than the younger one, neater toys, etc. He's not going to be too thrilled at first about having the spotlight taken from him, but he'll be fine. Remind him with hugs and one on one time when baby is sleeping that he is still very special to you. He is not losing anything by gaining a brother or sister.

    Answer by duckigrrl at 8:59 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • My nephew was the only one on the scene, as your son. He was 3 when my son was born and his sister came a month later....then my 2nd baby a year later. We lived away at the time but when I came home (for 6 to 8 weeks) a couple times with my first, my nephew had a jealous time. This was a couple years ago, there is still some rivalry, but it's natural. Yours will be just fine, it will just take time.

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 9:08 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • As long as there have been siblings, there has been sibling rivarly. It comes w/ the territory. As long as you continue to make him feel loved & needed (like a big-brother helper) then Im sure he'll adjust just fine. He has to understand that babies require extra time/attention, but he can be a part of it. And you will always make some special time for just him when the baby is napping. There are some books at the library that help w/ this subject. Read a few to him & see where the conversation goes. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised- he'll be a good big brother. Good luck & congrats :)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:09 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Make sure you give him a little extra attention when baby arrives. Take him out, even if just out to lunch, because "he is a big boy and babies can't do that". It worked like a charm when our second came along. Plus, as others have mentioned, he can be a "helper" with little things that will make him feel important. Best wishes.

    Answer by elizabr at 9:15 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I've kept my DD involved in the pregnancy from square one so she's excited about the baby coming. She went to an ultra sound with me, and a few dr's appointments to hear the heart beat, felt the baby move, etc. We play a lot of games at home with caring for baby dolls and how we need to be careful, etc. She likes the responsibility of knowing she'll be a big sister, and I'm hoping it will carry through to the birth (in 9 more weeks about).

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 5:17 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • yea he will be just find your balance and try to let him be involved with the caring of the baby like handin you a diaper or holding the bottle things like that congrads and best wishes

    Answer by mekarevell at 3:03 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • We have a 3.5 year old and a 6 month old. I gotta be honest, the first 2 or 3 months were hard. 2 little kids are hard til you get used to it, and DS had a little trouble adjusting. He always loved his baby sister though. Now they're 2 peas in a pod. They love each other soooo much!! DS loves trying to get his baby sister to laugh and every time he walks into the room she lights up.
    When DD was born we gave DS this little toy set with a boy, a girl, mommy, daddy, and baby. We took out the girl because we didn't need her, and it helped him. He would bring me the mommy and his dad the daddy. It was really cute. Make sure you make time for him, even if its just the grocery store with just the 2 of you. I know it was easier for DH to take care of DS than DD, so I always make sure we switch it up. Its good for all 4 of us.
    I have a friend who's mother told her that a sibling is the best gift you can give your kid.

    Answer by lovepotato at 8:49 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

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