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How should I explain this to my mother in law??

My husband and I have been living with my mother in law for 6 months. In about a month we will start renting a house or apartment. My mother in law usually watches our 2 year old all day (because I am in school and my husband works) and has told us to just bring her over every morning after we move. Part of why we are moving is that we hate the enviornment of her house for our child. We dont like the food she buys or that it is always dirty and there are several smokers living there.

I want her to come to our place in the morning and watch our child there where I can control her nutrition and enviorment better. I am even willing to paymy mil. But she will insist on knowing a reason why, like always. What do I say?

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amber710

Asked by amber710 at 1:32 PM on Oct. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (4,826 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • You tell her exactly what you told us!!!
    older

    Answer by older at 1:33 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Just tell her the truth and with more grace than I am telling you to do it. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:33 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • maybe say you want your child to get used to your new house and dont want the child to get confused with all the moving back and forth constantly since you used to live there...
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 1:34 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • You're the parent. You simply tell her thank you very much, that's such a kind offer, and you have decided that you'd rather have your child in her own home during those hours. That's it. And if you want to offer to pay her to babysit in your home, then do so - and have a plan B in case she chooses not to babysit.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 1:35 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • be honest with her...tell her what you told us!
    ThinkPink23

    Answer by ThinkPink23 at 1:35 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • You can say that you want your child to get used to the new place, that it would be much easier for (her?his?) transition if there's consistency. You want him to get really comfortable with the new place, there's been so many changes recently, would she be so kind to help out her grandchild with this? If she balks, tell her you're willing to pay for her gas, and that all the food the child needs will be there so she doesn't even have to worry about that either. Tell her you'll buy her some of her favorite snacks too.
    Saya

    Answer by Saya at 1:36 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • You and DH sit down with her and explain that you'd like to do things differently now that you have your own place. You would like your child away from the smoke and you'd like to pay her. It will also be easier to not have to pack up the baby each day. Go over the positive things first and then discuss the smoking. Good luck with the new place!
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:36 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I wouldn't call her dirty, but the smoke should be enough of a reason for you to want to keep your child out of all that.
    Don't be surprised if she thinks it's no big deal, I've heard that one before.

    good luck with it!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:40 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • YOu and your dh should sit down and tell her gently how you feel.
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 1:49 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • i would just tell her the truth i had to do this with my mil cause she has my bil twin girls (11 years old) and there out of controll and i really dont want my daughter around that right now shes only 11 weeks and i just think its to much for her to take care of them and our daughter and theres days she'll have 8 kids and i dont want to put that on her but i do let her once in awhile and we see her i know its alittle differnet but i told her why and she understand is where im getting at
    neonangel2188

    Answer by neonangel2188 at 1:54 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

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