• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I always tell my hubby what to do or not to do about everything about household, how to take care of the kids etc.?

I can't help myself sometimes to shout all it out to him because I feel getting tired of it but it just end up on stupid arguing.....
but if i don't tell him this or that , he don't even think to do it....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Oct. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • get a new man
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • you need to give him a chance to figure it out for himself. just because his way isn't the way you'ld do it--doesn't make it wrong. you sound like his mom,try being his wife.
    pam228

    Answer by pam228 at 10:17 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Are you meaning that you are telling him how to do it, or asking him to do it? If you are telling him how to do it I can understand how that would end in an argument. Everyone has their own ways of doing this and well so long as they all end with the same result the steps don't matter to much. If it is you asking him to do things around the house. Maybe set each of you a list of chores to be completed both daily, weekly, and monthly. That way you both know what is your own responsibility and you don't feel like you have to nag him for something to get done.
    little.miss.mom

    Answer by little.miss.mom at 10:17 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Only ask him to do the important stuff. Leave the rest of the responsibility to him. Stop putting pressure on him, because it will only create bad feelings. If you need something done, ask nicely, like you would expect him to ask you. If he won't do it fine, he isn't your slave. But neither are you his. Most women do things for men that they are perfectly capable of doing for themselves, and they get used to it. Really evaluate your relationship and don't put that much emphasis on serving as a demonstration of love. Many people show love differently. Read the Five Love Languages.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 11:07 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • I told my husband only clean the house when I'm gone ..Because I couldn't stand the way he cleaned the house.. Now really the only thing he does around the house is yard work..It works for us....Good luck

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:23 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • If the situation is not immediate let your husband figure it on his own. If you let him figure it out himself then he is more likely to make it a habit. On the other hand if a situation is in need of immediate attention, ask your husband to do it don't tell him to do it, men don't like to be told what to do. MEN ARE WEIRD, they will respond better if they feel you are the damsel in distress and that you need them. Another way to get your husband to do something is give him a chose, say for instance his mother is coming by and his socks are all over the house, you can say this: "honey do you want your mother to think you are a slob?" ""..no, so can you please pick up your socks?" now the ball is in his court. 9 times out of 10 he will do what you want because he feel like it was his decision, but we know that it wasn't lol.
    mom2gavahnyaand

    Answer by mom2gavahnyaand at 11:55 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • I learned a few year ago that men do things differently. When I ask him to watch the kids while I take a bath (a rarity I might add) He has them doing crazy things, bouncing off the walls. Watching junk cartoons on tv! :D Not exactly what I'd do, but that's why I'm mommy! :D Now as far as housework, he doesn't do a thing, but that's probably because when he does try I'm right behind him correcting him or re-doing whatever he has done. I think if he tries, just let it go. If it's horrible, wait til he's gone to fix it. I'd lay off on the "orders" and he might just come around (I should take my own advice :o))
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 4:59 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • He is going to get tired of your mouth .Men don't want to hear you nag all day long. my husband works on the outside of our house making fences,our dog run,our dog houses,the lawn etc we breed boxer and that takes alot of work basically I have a lot of help each child has a chore they clean their own rooms and take out the trash and I do the rest including taking care of my elderly mother that is sick so please don't complain suck it up .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:53 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Oh honey... my man is the same way. His mommy did eveything for him so he doesn't have a lot of common sense when it comes to our son and things to do in the house. He will always come to me and ask me what to feed our son for lunch or breakfast...my response to him is what do you think we should give him. Ask him questions back and make him do the thinking otherwise you will drive yourself insane. Be patient and you will get results. Good luck!
    TheDragn01

    Answer by TheDragn01 at 8:27 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
RENEWING OF THE VOWS??

Next question overall (Health)
Maybe TMI