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Why doesn't anyone want their child to be afraid of them?

Everytime I see the spanking posts, someone always says that they don't want their child to be afraid of them. Isn't a healthy dose of fear good for a child?
When I was growing up I knew the rules and was afraid to come home if I broke curfew or did something else I know I should not. I knew that my mom would kick my behind when I got home. I loved her, respected her and was a little afraid of her.

I don't want to be my kids friends at all, I want them to be afraid of what I will do when they misbehave. Isn't that what is wrong with a lot of kids today, no fear of anything?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Oct. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Hahaha! I know what you mean! My kids know, if they do something wrong...they'd BETTER be scared!

    I know too many winnie parents trying to please and friend their child and kids are going down the wrong paths many times, and parents sit back and wonder why!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I think so...Im with you on this one. It was the same way with my mom....I didnt dare miss my curfew for the same reason as you but at the same time if i got myself into some trouble even though i would get reemed a bit from her I could always talk to her about what was going on....This is how I want my relationship to be with my kid....when they grow up and are on their own then we can be friends lol....but until then im suposed to be teaching him

    Answer by Shelii at 5:11 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I want my child be afraid of the consequences of misbehaving. That's not the same as being afraid of me.


    Answer by maxswolfsuit at 5:17 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • i spank my kids and they don't fear me, i want them to respect me, not be scared of me

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 5:09 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Respect is great! My kids respect me too. But a little fear of wrong doings is always a good thing!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I grew up being scared of my dad...terrified. I don't want that for my kids. My father and I have a HORRIBLE relationship, even now, and I don't want that for my kids. That is not saying that my kids aren't disciplined, because they are...but I refuse to scare them like my father scared me.

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 5:13 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • i dont want my kids to be afraid of me but i want them to fear the consequences. i think there is a difference in styles of spanking. some parents do it out of pure anger (which is not the way to do it.) my parents would always make me "go think about what i've done" before they spanked me. then discussed why they were doing it. and they never spanked anywhere but my bottom.

    i agree that the problem now days is kids dont have respect. but i also believe part of the problem is most parents dont see what the kids doing as bad. and if u let them slide with small things they will just continue to worse things down the road.

    Answer by Phippsandrea at 5:14 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Too many parents give in and try so hard to be their child's best friend. They need rules, routine and the security.

    Answer by QandA at 5:17 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • If we are afraid of our parents then who do we turn to for comfort?


    GEEZE! They are not walking around in fear all day long.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Yes afraid of the consequences of their actions. I am the soft place for my kids to fall, but believe me I am the boss and you will do as I say. If you break specific house rules, I am not going to coddle you, you are in trouble, I am the law. As in the rest of life there are laws to follow and those who enforce the laws. If they cannot abide by the law in the house, how are they to function in society?

    My job is to raise adults.

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 5:23 PM on Oct. 9, 2010