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How can we get my Grandaughter to get out of wanting to be a high school gangster?

My grandaughter is being cared for by her Auntie, while her Mom is in Rehab, cleaning up her Meth habit. My grandaughter wants to be a gangster. I feel it's because it gives her a feeling of "being somebody", being "accepted", and they are taking the place of a "family". How can we get her to change her mind. Her grades are very bad which is keeping her from joining any fun activities at school, like cheerleader or sports teams. Don't know where to START.

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Asked by SimbaBooChino at 12:34 PM on Oct. 26, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (8)
  • Find out what her interests are, like art, poetry, reading, whatever. Then look into community programs based on those things she's into. You can also look into colleges that offer classes like computer animation, or space exploration studies. Keeping her busy is key.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Take her to Juvenile Hall for a visit to see what it's like. Talk to school police about what really happens to gangsters. Show her the downside of this "love and affection". Talk to her about AIDS, STD's, being someone's punching bag. Try to find an older girl who's "out" of the gangs, and find out why. Ask your GD why she wants it so much, and does she think being a gangster gives her a real future? GET HER TO A COUNSELOR. Obviously, her family background is not solid, she doesn't know what to do with her messed up life. She needs professional guidance NOW, before it's too late.

    Answer by ChefMom94 at 1:43 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • i kno it might sound mean but im a teen and i kno what u mean let her realize for herself that the people she calls "friends" will ditch her when it comes down to the end and when she realizes that they dont really care maybe she will shape up and behave for herself bc she cant do it for anyone else but herself i have had an addicted parent and i know her feeling exactly but maybe u can push her towards kids who dont think they are lil bad asses

    Answer by juliansmommie23 at 10:08 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Check with your school to see if they have a gang prevention program and talk to them...they will be able to guide you and they will talk to you and her if you want....they can give you all kinds of information....If your school district does not have a gang prevention program, go to your local police and talk to their gang prevention people...good luck...

    Answer by malam at 11:27 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • I wouldn't do anything until I first talked to her parents. Do not go above the parents head on this one or do anything without consulting them. I don't know if you are her caretaker or not. If you are then this doesn't apply to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Hello,
    Wow do I relate! My 14 year old believes he is a gangster. He has a fixation on this as like your grand. It is the music that they listen to it is all about ganster this gangster that....hang in another phase will come.. my 14 year old is moving into techno which is not any more fun than ganster. I imagine she will heal as her mother does. Look into some alateen meetings in your area they are free and have other teens of addict parents. I used to sponser one in new york.

    Answer by rosetoes at 12:28 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • scare the hell out of her, find anything you can about gang violence and show it to her! Also look into community programs, they are often hard to find, but the school counselor would be a good place to start or through your county's website.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 5:07 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Chefmom94 is right on the money! I agree with her 100%.

    Answer by Goodthings at 12:09 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

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