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4 Bumps

opinions please but no bashing....

So me and my hubby of almost 4 yrs have decided we want to try for another baby, this would be his 4th, and my 3rd. He has a 5 year old son and we have together a 3 year old daughter and 2 year old son. We may not have a ton of money but we get by, and our kids live comfortably even though sometimes things may be tight. Right now my husband stays at home, but we just had a very close friend move in and has volunteered to watch our children full time for her room and board(me and hubby have agreed to this and trust this person very much), but my husband is looking for a job. I am currently in school and working. I know that it does not matter what others think, many people on both sides of our family(and even some friends) would be against us having another child saying we dont need anymore. We receive very little help from the gov't(my kids are on medicaid and that is it) , I guess I am just curious on others opinions

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Oct. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (19)
  • IMO having another child right now is a bad idea
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:54 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I say go for it. The older you get, the harder it will be to get pregnant. Your life's circumstances may never EVER to "ideal enough" for a new child. Don't wait around trying to fulfill everyone else's expectations for you and your family. Good luck!
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 8:59 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Another child on medicaid... I personally don't think it's a good idea..
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:00 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • The decision of when to have children and how many is between you, your husband, and God. If you honestly feel you can take care of and provide for another little being, go for it! Oftentimes, kids raised in "harder" circumstances tend to be the most open-minded, responsible people as adults. It sounds like you're doing your best with what you've got, and making things work. If you want another baby, that's great! There are so many poor children born where they aren't really wanted, or can't be taken care of. You have a stable home, work, help, and love enough to go around. What a lucky little person he/she will be to be part of your family.
    Reenieredhead

    Answer by Reenieredhead at 9:02 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Well I wouldnt care about what your family thinks, its not them having the baby. For your own sake, I might wait till your done school, as being pregnant,working and going to school will be very tiring for you :)
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 9:02 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Do whatever you want.
    Will your situation change and be ideal for the next 18 - 20 years? Doubtful.
    While your in a tough spot now, babies are Super cheap! Wait until they are teenagers! OMG!
    So if you are planning on having 3 kids, why not? Will things get worse? Maybe? will they get better? Maybe.

    We make $100,000 a year and have 4 kids but DH could loose his job and we could have the house foreclosed upon and be homeless. Should I have never had my 4 kids in the event that bad things MIGHT happen?

    I would definitely make sure your DH gets a JOB before you are TTC though. Make sure he is as committed to providing for his family as you are.
    Roadfamily6now

    Answer by Roadfamily6now at 9:05 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I am against government assistance. But I frankly do not feel that way about medical care. Medical care and insurance in the U.S. is out of control. Last year for just my husband and myself we were paying $22000 a year. That is $1800+ a month. We could no longer afford it so we have a huge deductibale now and what it means is that we take care of our own health care and have insurance only if it is truly major.
    I do not know how you can live comfortably with only you working and pay child support and take care of a family of 5.
    I wonder why you want to have another child. What is the motivation? You may be living comfortably, but what happens if you lose your job, you become disabled, etc.? Do you have a cushion of at least six months living expenses?
    I am baffled as to why you want more children now?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:09 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • "Very little help from the government" needs to be turned into "no help from the government" before I would say somebody is ready for more kids. Let your husband get a job first and see what your income is then plan a child.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:11 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • NO WAY! WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR CHILDREN DECIDE TO DO SPORTS, GO TO SCHOOL, NEED MONEY FOR LUNCHES, TRIPS, CLOTHES, PROMS.. I WOULD SAY NO!!! WAY.. YOU HAVE HUSBAND THAT DOES'T WORK ALREADY. SORRY, NOT BASHING BUT HE COULD OF GOT A JOB OPPISATE HOURS OF YOURS.. NO EXCUSES! YOU WOULD BE NUTS
    r00j04j08

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 9:18 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • i was in your spot at one time...money was tight and we lived they way we could live. We didnt like it but just so we could pay the bills, we decided its what we could do. i would personally wait till your done with school and your hubby has a job, its not the babysitting i would be worried about, its the money coming in. who cares about "what if.." in the future, people have babies whether or not thier situation applys for them to do so. so what im saying is...be settled first.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 9:23 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

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