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2 Bumps

do parents just "give up" when their kids hit a certain age?

It seems like Moms start off with so much vigor and confidence in the rules. You don't talk to strangers, you do pick up your toys, you do eat your veggies, and you don't back talk me..... you cloth diaper, selective vax, don't circ, allow no high fructose corn syrup in the house, etc

Then later on your preteens/teens are at the skate park with no helmet, falling behind in school or skipping class, and you hand out condoms, let them drink Pepsi and live on Hot Pockets and stay up til 2am .... is there a magic age when parents these days simply stop parenting? What happens?

 
hibbingmom

Asked by hibbingmom at 9:03 PM on Oct. 9, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 35 (71,876 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • In some of my relatives' homes they definately have given up and the youngest is only 13. no one knows where he is half the time and hes already been hospitalized for drugs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I have not ever stopped parenting my boys, ages 23 and 20. Now that they are older, I respect their right to choose how they want to live, but when they are doing something that is disrespectful to another or some other such matter, I still do my fussing, lol.
    MaryWolfe

    Answer by MaryWolfe at 9:05 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • As the mother of 2 almost 21 yr old, a 15 yr old , and a 13 yr old - at no time has my parenting them every stopped. The amount of hand holding type parenting is OVER at the ages of my children. It is more step back and see how I've done and correct the things that need correcting and let the good things continue. Children HAVE to make mistakes, they HAVE to do things on their own or they will never EVER learn! And what has my parenting gotten me, 2 - 21 yr old MALE children that are or were VIRGINS until they got married (1 married, 1 engaged) , a 15 yr old daughter that is well grounded, not always thinking of boys and understands that sex isn't necessary to keep a boy. And a 13 yr old boy that thinks his brothers are great and love both his mom and dad and still tell us that every night.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:03 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • well first of all i dont cloth diaper, i give all vaccines, and i definatly circumsize.

    now on to the question, sometimes you dont have time to be on your kids ass every second for the rest of there lives. once they are teens, your not with them constantly, you cant control what they eat at a friends house or if they wear a helmet at a skate park while your not there. you also have to let them learn some mistakes for themselves, just like we all did and still are, thats part of the fun of life... yes, keep them away from the major ones.. but a few wont kill them. and you have to let them drink pepsi sometimes, i mean come on, lets live a little and enjoy life.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:05 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • what happens is those precious kids become influenced by their peers and become their own person..you cannot stop them at this point or they rebel and because they know everything by age 17 they will rebel hard at times...at this point you burn out and if it is your 2nd,3rd,4th round with parenting teens you loose steam.....Anna92464..has it right
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:16 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I think there is a HUGE difference between choosing to cloth diaper an infant and allowing a child to go to the park with friends... There is a point in a childs life when they are no longer a baby, they are their own person and you have to let that shine through. If you never cut those apron strings they never learn to stand on their own... I also think it comes down to how YOU view different things, a good bit of what you listed there is debated on nearly every day in this area... Even good parents can't agree on whether or not they should vax or cloth diaper... And certianly subjects like sex and helmets are going to be subjective... There is no "Parenting 101" class out there with all the answers. No, parents don't give up, they don't stop caring or stop parenting, they simply grow as their children do and so is their views on things that affect their children...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:25 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • This is an excellent question. Is it givingup or is it they feel defeated?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:11 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Parenting is about holding them as close as possible in hopes that you can let go and watch them soar at some point. And I think ALL kids experiment with doing the opposite of what mom and dad said for a while. I think that it's easy to play couch quarterback but unless you are the one or very very close to the one parenting, it's hard to say that someone has "given up" simply based on their kids actions. Heck, mine is almost 4 but I have certainly let things slide that I wouldn't have wanted to. When you have kids and realize that they have their own personalities, strengths and weaknesses, you tend to change your angle a bit. For example my son has sensory issues and speech delay. So, I don't mind AT ALL if he is a bit bouncy in the store or touches things on the aisles. However, if he runs from me in public, you can be sure I will nail his butt to the wall. Or the equivalent of that for his own personality ;)
    CooksWife

    Answer by CooksWife at 9:12 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • No, Even thro I'm adult and I have my own home. She would tell me in a heart beat what she don't like, what I should do and my mother is 62yrs old. lol
    TwannaB.

    Answer by TwannaB. at 9:13 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I never stopped parenting--still haven't, as a matter of fact. The parenting takes differest forms, grows with the children, but one should never give up and should always keep the boundaries in place.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:15 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

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