Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

How do I get my 18 month old to stop hitting me?

She hits and then waits for my reaction, and she sometimes hits herself! I have taught her "nice" and she touches my face nice. I just want to be consistent and teach her it's not nice to hit.

Answer Question

Asked by tracy3420 at 9:58 PM on Oct. 9, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (30 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • well i would put her in a time out and let her know that is bad to hit.. that is what i did for my little girl and she did it for about two week and than she understands that is was a bad thing. i hope this works for you..

    Answer by Nicky89 at 10:30 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Well you know its coming. Tell her nice. And try not to flinch. Lol. Mine came up to me and smacked me and said Becky! For real? I told him knock it off Becky and poked him. I pointed at me and said mommy. And to him and said Hunter. No hits. (My 14 year DS says OMG Becky! Constantly)
    Have you tried fake crying? Oww you hurt mommy!

    Answer by stepho345 at 10:34 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • my 18m dd does the same thing, i tell her no and be nice if she does it again i put her down and tell her when shes ready to be nice she can come back and sit on my lap

    Answer by mayo9mommy at 10:35 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • This may sound childish but hit her back! The punishment should fit the crime. I'm not saying punch her in the face by any means but my daughter at around that age would do the same thing so I would pop her on the hand and tell her "You don't hit mommy". Time outs at this age aren't as effective as later on due to the fact that your child's attention span is not very long. Chances are if you put her in time out by the time she gets out she won't remember what it was that meritted her being put there in the first place.

    My daughter would also smack herself in the face sometimes when she got into trouble. That's her way of getting you to lose focus on what it was she was doing wrong by getting you to instead try to get her to stop hitting herself. Just like with temper tantrums, it's best not to do anything at all. I promise she will grow it ouf it. My daughter has (she will 2 next month)!

    Answer by boricuamami1118 at 10:45 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I agree with boricuamami, time outs don't work. Actually punsihment and rewards don't work. Your toddler is trying to tell you something and is frustrated that she can not put it into words and hits. Are you spending enough quality time with her? There is something else bothering her. This behavior is not the problem, what is causing the behavior is. The way you react will dictate the way she reacts. Don't feel frustrated. You can change her behavior. Check out this website. Not saying you have to buy the ebook, but all the info they provide and the video's alone are helpful.

    Wish you the best. Things will get better!

    Answer by DeeMomOfFour at 11:09 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • At this age there is no empathy...pretending to cry will have the same effect as any just serves to amuse. They can understand cause and when your child hits you, do not react in any way...just put her down and walk away. Give it a couple of minutes before you respond to her or play with her (dont hold a grudge...two minutes is about as long as shell remember the incident). If u are consistent it won't take long for her to get it...mommy doesn't play with me when I hit....that behavior gets me no where. Make sure too that desired behaviors are rewarded with your attention and some quality time. Never withhold love...regardless of behavior.

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 11:38 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Sometimes kids just do things for no reason. They aren't doing it for attention or because therer is some deep seeded reason behind it. They don't do it because mommy doesn't spend time with them. At that age they experiment a lot with cause and effect. I'd say to tell your child VERY firmly not to hit mommy and then walk away. They will learn that when they hit mommy they CAUSE her to be hurt and the EFFECT is that mommy doesn't want to be around when that happens. Just my opinion and experience.

    Answer by sandrizzle at 11:48 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • "This may sound childish but hit her back! The punishment should fit the crime. "

    don't do this. It will only encourage them to hit more. Sure it may get their attention and they may realize it hurts, BUT at the same time it teaches them it's okay to hit when you think someone is being bad. So it encourages more hitting from them. It doesn't mean they will always hit YOU, but they will take it out on other kids when they get mad, especially younger kids. NOT a good example to set.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:19 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • ANGIE is correct though. At that age it's hard for time outs and such to work. I would simply tell her no, walk away from it, and after a minute or two go back to what you were both doing before. She will pick up that you won't play if she hits. Not right away, but eventually and it will stop. When she gets a bit older. (2-3) you can start putting more into it, like taking away a toy if she throws it, etc.
    In the long run, she's probably just frustrated and finding a way to help her over come her frustrations is what will also really help in the long run. Work with her on her vocabulary, even learning to point things out can help eliminate some of that frustration.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:24 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Another reason why I disagree with no hitting back is very simple.

    You are teaching them that hitting isn't nice.

    How can you do that when you go and hit them back?

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:25 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.