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As a mother, I know that I will always be there for my children. Why don't children feel that way about being there for their parents? A few generations ago children always took care of their parents.

Now kids just want to stick them in a home. They think that doing what is necessary to take care of them in the last days of their lives is too difficult or too inconvenient. Where did the responsibility, compassion and sense of family go? Why did this happen? Why is children's responsibilty to their parents a think of the past?

 
tootoobusy

Asked by tootoobusy at 10:28 PM on Oct. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 52 (487,465 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Not everybody is sticking their parents into a home. I'm one of the people that still has compassion for my parent that is still living. I do everything I can do for her, but nobody else in my family will lift a finger to help her. My sister lives 3 hours away and has said that she couldn't handle doing that because it would drive her crazy! Her one child is grown. I have 3 kids and one with Down's Syndrome, so I do more than you might think. My oldest daughter is 22 and won't help either. It hurts in more ways than one.

    I believe that the reason a lot of people put their parents in a rest home is because they are too busy. Today people are on the "go,go,go" and just don't know when to slow down and the priorities aren't what they used to be either. I really don't think that people know the meaning of the word, "family" anymore.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:39 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • PS personally I'd keep my parents as close to me as possible for as long as possible, but if I thought for one minute that I wasn't giving them the care that they need/deserve then I'd find someone who can.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:36 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • i wont be sticking my parents in a home unless they need constant medical care that i am not qualified to give them. my mom and dad have done so much for me even now that im a mom, married and on my own they continue to help me in every way they can.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:30 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • See. There's a difference between genuinely wanting to be there for your parents and doing what is expected for you. A few generations ago they did what was expected of them more then what they actually wanted. Now this wasn't everyone, but it was a majority. I personally will do anything for my parents. My dad lost his job two years ago and hasn't been able to find work since. I have offered NUMEROUS times for them to move in with us. But my dad continues to fight it out and continue looking. When they're too old to care for themselves or just need help they'll have the option to bunk in our home. Take up a life of their own under our roof. I have no qualms with assisting my parents. Financially, physically, emotionally .. They're my parents, I want absolutely the best for them!
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:33 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I wish I knew why tthat is. But it is like that. I already feel that my kids have decided that I have to fend for myself and not depend on them for anything. But I am the babysitter and the person who runs errands for them, takes care of their pets and lets repair people into their homes to fix their furnace, etc. etc. while they are work. Know what I mean? They can depend on ME but I can't ask them for anything. @@ They are spoiled.I hope I don't end up in a nursing home someday .....ugh.
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 10:33 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I think you're over simplifying difficult decisions that individuals make. My husband's grandmother lives in a home of sorts, it's only for women and it's very nice. The women must be dressed to attend meals (they may eat in their rooms if they don't feel up to dressing but they can't roam around in their nighties), they get their hair done each week, there are activities, they form friendships, and they never feel a burden to their families. It's really quite lovely. Not all "homes" are created equal, and not all circumstances are the same. What if the "children" just can not provide the necessary care that an individual requires?
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:34 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Well my grandma is in a home because she has alzheimer's and my parents and my aunts and uncles do not have the physical capability to take care of her. My husband and I have discussed no matter how difficult it would be that we would take in either of our parents if and when the time comes.

    lilysmom2607

    Answer by lilysmom2607 at 11:02 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • I agree OP 100%. My grandma is still able to live on her own. In fact just had a back operation in August and is already up decorating for Halloween. When she is unable to live on her own she will either live with me or my mother. Nobody is putting my Nanny in a home. The same goes for my mom. My brother and I will decide when that time comes!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 11:25 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • amessageofhope, well your name says it all. WOW! That is wonderful what you do! Truly wonderful and I can only hope more people are like you! Although I would kick my DD's butt if at 22 she didn't help with her Nanny but that's just because of how I am with my Nanny I guess. I call her several times a day to make sure she's OK and has everything she needs and is taking her meds right! I am the only one out of 11 grandchildren who do!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 8:19 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I don't really have an answer but I'll bump the question.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 3:04 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

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