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I just found out my 15 year old daughter is not a virgin anymore...and sex was with a black person. i am so mad and i told her i was discuisted.. i dont even know how to spell i am so mad............what should i do i dont know how i will cope with this fact. she says she knows it was a mistake. i just dont know what to do.....someone please help me talk to me...i am so overwrought.

teebagers who are beginning to explore sex

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:06 AM on Jul. 3, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (36)
  • 1st of all whats wrong with black people? your daughter is growing up she's going to do what ever she can get away with. all you can do is teach her and guide her to be safe. and if she dosen't no about std's heres a web site that has pics.

    Answer by t_cutie_07 at 4:38 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • what does it matter what color the person she had sex with is? I have never gotten that! Did you teach her about "safe sex", or have you had REAL conversations about it? Just wondering. I have a 16yo sd and dd that are both sexually active to some degree. We have discussed several times the different options for birth control or abstinence. We have open communications about it, if you "go off" too hard on her she will feel like she can't come to you if she truly needs to about ANYTHING! Breathe mom there are worse things in this world!

    Answer by WkdNurseRachett at 5:40 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • Reguardless of color a person is a person. Whom ever your daughter deceided to have sex with it should not matter the race. The question should be "What made her feel like this was the right time"? Being mad at her is not going to make it any better your just going to push her away. The best think to do would be to sit with her and explain the consequences to unprotected sex and explain how getting pregnant at a young age could ruin her dreams for the future. Als I would make her a Gyno appointment and get her on birth control but also explain that you do not condone her having sex it's just an extra precaution. If you do end up getting her on the pill just make sure she is taking it.

    Good Luck

    Answer by maddysmommy907 at 7:37 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • First and foremost let me restate the obvious. A person's race has nothing to do with your daughter losing her virginity unless your instilling racist qualities in her. Second of all as a parent you're supposed to talk to your daughter about being safe and pray that the those values you instilled in her hold. Now as a parent take her to the OB for an her first exam and get her started on some type of birth control. The doctor will also speak with her about being safe, hopefully you have already spoken to her about it. Let her know you are against her engaging in sexual activity but at the same time you are there for her to talk to. Bashing her actions will only make her seek solace from someone else. Children are having sex as young as 9 years old today, it doesn't make it right but as a parent you are responsible for educating your child. Remember when you post things that there are BLACK PEOPLE on this site. I will definitely be praying for YOU because your daughter will be alright.

    Answer by TIGGA01 at 8:03 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • I agree with others. This day and age you really need to adjust your mind set. There is nothing wrong with who your daughter chose to have sex with. That will be her decision in life and if you cant support who she is attracted to then you are not a very good mother. I am not saying to support her being sexually active, but race ethnicity none of that should matter to you. We are all human and that is our choice to make. Open your eyes and your mind. About the sex, she will do it no matter what. I started having sex when I was 14. Im not saying it was good or that I would be okay with my daughter doing it, but it does happen. One thing that I love my mom for during that time...she put me on birth control and talked to me about sex. I didn't go crazy and start having sex with everyone but I was protected and I knew how to protect myself. I am grateful that my mom was there for me.

    Answer by noahsmom22 at 9:23 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • its done and over with. prepare her for the next time she has sex, give her the facts. Don't punish her for something she knows was a mistake. But, talk to her and let her know that its not ok and you feel that shes too young or w/e.

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 10:49 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • To be honest you took the wrong approach. My mother consoled me asked if i had any questions and even asked why. The why question was kind of hard because i didnt really know how to answer it. I did answer it once i thought about it. My mother cried she was disappointed that i decided to explore a little early. She didnt hate me or make me feel less of a person. Now granted I wasnt with another race but i dont think that would have been a main concern. You still have time to talk to her and i think she will appreciate that. Did you find out or did she come to you to talk to you? Today is a little different than it used to be. Sex is the american symbol. I'm not saying she is right or i was right at that age. What im saying is i had the confidence to go talk to my mom believe me it wasnt easy.Just educate and remember its already done. Now educate keep an open mind. Dont promote it but dont horrify it. Know what i mean. Well it should only get easier after this.

    Answer by GoldieLocks18 at 11:33 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • I think a lot of kids experiment with sex at that age. Just try to give her good advise on being safe. I wouldn't put racists thoughts in her mind. If you are concerned about mixed relationships let her know that if they have a child together the child might have a difficult life even today sometimes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • Well mam, your daughter is growing up and she has a choice on being with whoever she feels like she wants to be with. So you need to cope with the fact that she has her own life to live.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • Sorry to tell you this but maybe the boys parents are discusted that their son slept with a non-african american. Did you ever think about that?! You really need to get over the color issue and start relating to your daughtter. No simpathy here, jsut letting you know there is two families hurting here.

    Answer by damnroxanne at 7:27 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

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