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Should I take her out of school and put her into a different school? adult content

nightmare hell
I'm going through hell right now with a rumor this girl is claiming my daughter gave a guy a bj my daughter is 12, everyone knows my daughter wouldnt talk about nasty stuff like that. I also know this girl said she was bi sexual and my daughter said she doesnt want to hang out with her anymore and has cut ties with this girl and so now this girl is stirring up problems.This girl also talked about how she gave a guy a hand job and then said it was a joke. I'm already dreading school now and everything else thats gonna fall in place because of this. I know my daughter has her crushes but the sex talk has been put out ont he table and the kids know whats what. My daughter is into music life and spending money on things she can get but not that kind of talk. I've talked to some of her friends and they said julie hasnt ever spoken of things in that nature at all. What do I do now? I'm pissed that this is happening

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • Stop over reacting my dear... this is all a part of growing up and they'll work it out. Kids are cruel and stupid sometimes. Help her to deal with it by not taking everything so seriously.

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 12:24 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Blabbermouth--this is NOT a part of growing up, this is bullying and is NOT acceptable. Your attitude is why there are so many billied kids and why they think it is ok to spread rumors about innocent people.

    OP: DO NOT let this contiue to happen. Fight for your daughter, her reputation and her safety. You are NOT overreacting. This is how bullying starts, this is why there are so many kids as young as your daughter killing themselves. Report it to the principal, if he or she won't do anything, go to the police, the school board, whomever you have to. Homeschool if you can't switch schools.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:27 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Your daughter needs to step up and complain to an adult in the school. You need to back her up.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:20 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • No, you don't change schools over this. That's absurd. Teenagers spread rumors, some true/some not. You can't change schools everytime a teenager says something unkind about another.

    Answer by Gaccck at 9:34 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Unfortunately, this IS a part of growing up in this day and age. Should it be? No. But is it? Yes. This is what happens when we choose to oversexualize our children.

    I agree, it would be absolutely absurd to change schools over a rumor - and really? Odds are that at least one teen in the new school would know at least one teen in the old school and the rumor will just follow her. Furthermore, you'd be teaching her to run and hide from problems - not a great lesson.

    Use it as a teachable moment - it's a great reminder about what conversations teens (and in your case, PRE teens) should not be having and what activities they should not be participating in. Is it a tough lesson? It sure is. But this is life - and she'll need to learn to be tough. Besides, if she's "not that kind of girl", people will learn that - and if she is? they'll learn that too.

    Answer by justnancyb at 9:41 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I cannot believe the number of parents that thinks spreading rumors like this is normal and acceptable. It is NOT. This is the reason so many kids are KILLING themselves at young ages. Because the teasing and rumors are getting personal and go to far. These types of rumors can ruin a persons repuatation and follow them throughout their schooling. This type of teasing is NOT ok. More parents need to teach their kids how to act APPROPRIATELY. If you don't think this behavior is unacceptable, then read the current issue or People Magazine. In one school 4 kids have committed suicide because of behaviors like this. She does NOT have to deal with this as "normal" part of growing up because it is NOT a normal part of growing up. Parents attitudes go a long way in what kids think and do, especially when treating others poorly. Time for parents to step up and do their jobs, that is if they are mature enough to do so.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:17 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • This is clearly a form of bullying. It needs to be addressed with the school administration.

    Answer by jcm62497 at 2:12 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Do not teach your daughter to run away from problems.... do NOT change schools

    Help her to deal with this... if you are unskilled to do so, then seek help.

    And YES this is VERY common among the age group.... not saying it is right... just saying it is common.


    Answer by sahlady at 3:47 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I would not nec. change schools b/c it would be teaching her to run away. And it could easily follow her, not to mention her running away seen as a sign of guilt.
    This is a VERY tough lesson, but it is a teachable moment. Teach about self-respect, standing up for herself and NOT letting someone bully her or take her dignity, reputation, friends and school. To learn about inner strength, who are her REAL friends, what kind of people she wants to hang out with etc.
    I think it is a VERY VERY hard thing and I would consult with an expert (b/c frankly I'm not one and I would have a really hard time advising my dd on what to do) on what steps dd could take to deal with the situation.
    How does she want to handle it? How is she handling it?
    I would keep a VERY VERY close eye on the situation and honestly with dd's permission alert the staff at the school about this girl and what she is doing not only to dd but to herself (con

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 9:15 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I would be VERY VERY VERY careful to do this covertly and make sure that you do NOT want dd's name dragged into it at ALL (don't need the snitch/run to mommy thing too) but I would def. let them know. If there is a teacher you and dd trust, maybe talk to him/her for advice on the situation (they see this stuff all the time and may have so good ideas and people to help with it).
    I would con. to monitor and keep a close eye on dd... help her be strong, help her deal with it, help her be the kind of person who will stand up for herself and not let someone push her out/make her run...
    BUT each person/kid is diff. if you see it getting to close to the breaking point... yea, I'd pull her BUT ONLY as a last resort.
    Good luck, hugs and good thoughts to YOU and dd...

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 9:18 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

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