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my husband has slept with 3 other women, that i know of, since we have seperated. says he can, since we are not together. I am wanting a divorce, he wants counseling. what should I do?

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chrystyna436

Asked by chrystyna436 at 1:13 AM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Are you interested in counseling? Would it help to have some closure (in counseling) even if you don't stay/get back together? Is there even a teeny tiny possibility of reconciling? I would for my own personal interest if nothing else. I bet you could get something out of counseling even if it's not what he's hoping it will be. ((hugs))
    blessedwithree

    Answer by blessedwithree at 1:16 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • to add to above, we have 3 kids. 2 are his, and he claims other one as his own. but when we seperated he bought the kids mcdonalds and wanted money back on the child that wasnt his. I mean I feel like I am answering my own question. LOL but I just need some answers. I am not in love with him, and I jsut think I want to move on. I seem happier without him, but at same time, he wants to go to counseling. But he has said that for the past two years. So who knows.
    chrystyna436

    Comment by chrystyna436 (original poster) at 1:16 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I would say... my honest opinion...
    Get a divorce. You deserve to be happy. He isn't too worried about not getting a divorce... just seems like he wants to do everything walking.

    GL
    ajc88

    Answer by ajc88 at 1:19 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Wow, did you guys set bounds for the seperation? How long have you been seperated? IMO he doesn't care about you very much if he isn't wasting no time sleeping around. He could potentially bring some disease home to you...

    I say if you feel the way in which you do and can take care of your kids then leave. Thats messed up he wanted the money back for your child... that just shows his true colors...what an asshole.
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 1:20 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I thought I was interested in counseling. But it seems to be less interesting as time goes on. I am very much in my church. And had some counseling myself with some childhood issues. But he wont even admit he has any issues. And I feel counseling is going to be a waste of time. And he will totally think that it is what I wanted and it will fix things. I am leaning on not fixing things. I dont know if its cause I am scared or what. but when and if he takes the first step, I will go. But I am feeling like it wont do much, on my part anyway. but I have heard of relationships being on last string or no string and counseling brought them back together. I jsut dont think I want him anymore. And I feel like I am being mean.
    chrystyna436

    Comment by chrystyna436 (original poster) at 1:22 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • He slept with 3 women. I think that pretty much means he's done.
    Counseling with him seems like it would be going backwards for you. I'd continue to move forward and complete the divorce.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 1:27 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • yes he wants everything to be easy. for him. And says all the time, why you got to make it so hard on me? And he is out doing what he wants, and I am here with the kids 24/7. I love my kids and I am not complaining, but all of us need a break. And thank God for my church and lifegroup. I dont know where I would be without my saviour. And I just think its time to let go. And when and if he makes a responsible decision to take therapy, then I might consider very slowly taking steps with him. But who's to say I wont have already moved on? ;) Thats how I'm feelin!!
    chrystyna436

    Comment by chrystyna436 (original poster) at 1:29 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Well if he's sleeping around it shows he's not committed. I would just go for the divorce.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:48 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Well just cause you two aren't together for the fact that he has already moved on to sleep with 3 different women i would not take that dirty dick man back. If he truely loved and cared about this marriage & you he wouldn't be out sticking his shit in other women he would be doing whatever he had to do to fix this marriage. You sound like you are just DONE and there is no tools left in the box to fix this broken marriage. Yes i think you have made your decision maybe you just need to feel that you are making the right decision & in my eyes and from what you have said I think you and the children are better off without him and you together. I would file the paperwork and get things moving so you can put this all behind you and move on.

    Sorry for being so blunt but he has his focus somewhere else & not on the children and the marriage he wants to work so badly. Sounds like he wants you to set it all up.CONT
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 2:57 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Don't allow him to pressure you into something you ready don't want to do. Marriage takes two to make it work actions speak louder then words. Good luck to you and the children.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:00 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

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