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My husband won't hold out newborn babygirl because everytime he does, she cries. what can I do to make her like him more?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:20 AM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (5)
  • Babies need familiarity and routine. The less he holds her, the less she will want him to. He has to just do it. She will never get used to him if he never holds her! If you bottle feed, can you have him do it? If you are breastfeeding, maybe have him nearby. Lay in bed with baby between you so she can smell and feel him while she is eating.

    Answer by getrealmama at 1:26 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • He needs to relax around her as well. Babies sense stress, fear, anxiety, and happiness. She can tell if he's stressed so have him chill out, sit down and just hold her, skin to skin. Chances are she will calm down and relax if he relaxs :)

    Answer by bensmum25 at 1:29 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I agree with the pp's. It sounds like there's sort of a vicious circle going on - he's anxious about holding her, because she cries when he does, she picks up on that anxiety, and she cries. So, he holds her less, gets more anxious when he does hold her, she doesn't know him as well, picks up on it, and so on, and so on.

    I would do what the pp's suggested - have him nearby, talking in a calm, soothing voice to you and the baby when you're feeding her, have skin to skin contact - that's important for babies. Also, have him spend time with her where he isn't holding her - you hold her while he plays with her fingers, with her toes, talks to her, makes eye contact, etc. Have him talk in a low, soothing voice. Also, lay her on a blanket on the couch, and have him sit next to her and do the same thing (so they get some time together without Mommy there).

    This will allow them to relax and get to know each other :-)


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:20 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • You might want to ask this in the babies section too and good luck

    Answer by ladyambition at 2:52 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • My husband was anxious with our son at first. He still does not like to hold him for long, and I can tell it kind of hurts his feelings when I hand him our son and he starts to get fussy. I asked a similar question and got some good advice. Sometimes we will sit close together on the couch or bed and put our son inbetween us so that we both have contact with him. If you are bottle feeding having hubby feed the baby seems to help too.

    Answer by mandapanda942 at 11:22 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

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