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My hubby and I are both 20 and we've been having problems with our 4 y/o daughter because he has a style that people label as "emo" and she says that the kids at her preschool say her daddy looks like a girl and it really upsets her. What should I do to let her know its ok?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (7)
  • Aw, I am sorry that kids can be such little punks. I know they are young but if it keeps up I would inform the school only because it could lead to bullying and that is a big problem with kids right now.

    I would just tell her, everybody is different and some people don't like that. But that it is OKAY to be different and people will dress and look the way that makes them happy. It doesn't matter what other people say.
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 3:09 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • All you can do it tell her that kids can be mean. There is nothing you can do to change how they feel. But she knows the truth about the people that she loves. Also stress that the clothes that people wear really have no bearing on who they are inside.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 11:54 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • explain about how ppl can be mean
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 2:21 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • How sad that the kids are saying this. Can you talk to the preschool teacher and maybe she can say something to the other kids when your daughter is not there?
    My son used to get picked on a lot because when he was little he was a bit heavy. I used to tell him that if everyone in the world were exactly alike, life would be boring and that he is exactly how God wants him to be.
    Good luck and I am sorry you are dealing with this.
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 10:11 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I am sorry she is going through this, but as a parent, this is something he may want to ask himself. Is this "style" more important to him than the social development of his child. I am in no way saying your DH is a bad parent, and he IS young, but there comes a time when you have to start putting your childs needs and welfare before that of your own. Can he "tone it down" a bit?
    I guess I am from a different time. I had my first at 19, and then I started to ask myself...what does the way I dress and carry myself say to others ie educators etc? It may not be fair that there is such judgement in society, but it is there non the less.
    As for your DD, assure her you both love her, and kids can be mean, but that does not make what they say true...but I say, put HER first...consider what she is dealing with...look at all the stories in the news about kids being picked on who eventually turn on themselves. GL
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 9:52 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • sorry to hear the kids can bo so crul.my daughter who is almost 4.gets ask by her friends at school Y her mommy has colored hair & big holes in her ears& a ring in her lip.she just tells them thats her mommy &she <3s me.alot of kids at her school like her cool clothes she comes in.i dont dress her in distillers T & nirvana T when she goes to school.she saves thouse for the weekend.she <3s zebra print &bright colors so i let her play with that.i say just let her know shes beautiful to her mommy & daddy &she should <3 who she is cuz her daddy loves who he is as well.kids will always be mean &say crul things cuz of what there parents say.so stay positive &so will your daughter.get her to tell the kids at school that her daddy <3s who he is and so dose she.maybe talk to her teacher about it too. they are always a great help.when she gets upset about it give her a big hug &let her know shes <3ed mayb paint her nails her fav color
    Anna Bananerz W.

    Answer by Anna Bananerz W. at 9:41 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • I would definitely speak to the school about the teasing. Schools like to think that they are anti bullying, but they aren't showing it! I would talk to my child about people being unkind and help her with something to say back to them. That feels empowering! You could have her say, "Everybody's different. I love my daddy." Sometimes just knowing what to do gives children a sense of control. I'm sure she just feels helpless, sad and confused with these comments. The differences in people are wonderful. Children should be learning this at an early age. The more children learn about differences, the more acceptance there is in our society. When people stop judging others, maybe bullying will come to an end. It's up to all of us to teach our children not to judge others, but to accept people as they are.
    AlisonAstair

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 5:51 PM on Oct. 16, 2010

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