Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Does it bother you when people tell you "you are trying to hard", "it's just not the right time", "enjoy the kids you have", "Your youngest is still to young...you need to wait longer anyways" etc.?

Honestly it drives me crazy. I mean do people SERIOUSLY think that when a couple decides to TTC they do not think it through. We thought about finances, how much room we have, if we wanted our family to change, if we were ready to deal with another pregnancy, etc.

It seems like every time I talk to someone about how long it is taking for us to concieve or ask a question about it I get "You're trying to hard." UM WHAT???? It's not like my whole dam day is consumed by TTC. We have sex when I'm fertile and hope for the best. Should we have sex less because that the only way to try "less hard."

Or there's the...

"Your baby is still young (almost 18 mons). You need to just enjoy him and try again later" Um...by the time our new baby is born our son will be 2 which is a good gap for us.

"Enjoy the kids you have"- I'm sorry but did I say I STOPPED enjoying them when we started TTC??

Does this bother you???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:23 AM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (7)
  • Not personally b/c I really don't want anymore children...mmmaayybbbee one more in the yrssss to come.. but I could see how that could get annoying. That is NOT what you want to hear from people, where is the encouragement??
    "Trying to hard".. I don't think you can really do this :) The more you try, the better your chances :)
    "Still young" So what, if YOU can handle it, then who cares, maybe you prefer to have them close in age :)
    \"enjoy the kids you have" well maybe you do and that's why you want to enjoy more!! :)

    are you TTC? if so... good luck!!
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 3:39 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • tell them u want another wonderful baby to add to your family :)
    Kittty_Katt

    Answer by Kittty_Katt at 4:26 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I wouldn't take it to heart, but it would annoy me slightly. I just told people I was TTC and told them to get over it if they didn't agree. Now I have 2 beautiful babies, a 14 month old DD, and a 1 month old DS :)
    Becca1189

    Answer by Becca1189 at 1:18 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • yes i agree people push and pry too much they dont mean to annoy us and i know they mean well! since we do want to have a second child in our hearts and we do think we could and want to add to our family but we are doing like you said; we are thinking it through and taking some time to actually think about it all ........ but ive been getting the opposite i get from friends and family that say - "your daughter is 6 almost 7years old?! gosh dont wait too long!" and "you finally have a house big enough what are you waiting for?" and "you both want a baby why dont you just get to it" and "you wait too long and your going to have a teenage girl hitting puberty and a kid in diapers hahaha" like i dont think about all this already
    RobinEsMommy

    Answer by RobinEsMommy at 6:11 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Yes, it bothers me sometimes. Especially the "quit trying and it will happen" line. I hate feeling like I have to explain that we already tried going that route a year ago. I know people are usually just trying to be helpful but sometimes I wish some of them would think for a second before they speak.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • yesssssssssssss lol
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 5:45 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I can see why it would bother you. Try to take it with (what is likely) their intent, and that is to reassure you that you will get what you want. Maybe people say that to ease your mind or because they don't really know what else to say to make you feel better about not having conceived yet.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 4:15 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN