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2 Bumps

I am at my wits end with my husband and him telling me no to everything I want to do!!!

I want to go on a dinner date with my dad and it turns into him saying well when are we going to hang out, he could care less, he will sit on the couch drink beer and watch sports and if i look busy or want to go for a walk or run all of a sudden he wants to hang out, I want an energy drink and he says no their bad for you, I KNOW THEY ARE BAD FOR ME BUT I AM AN ADULT AND AM TIRED AND OBVIOUSLY WANT A BOOST! I am a stay at home mom and bust my butt at it and he thinks that because i dont have a nine to five job that i dont work, its not my money i am spending its his, and those are his words, I just recently lost my little sister too i did her hair and makeup for the funeral too, so I am grieving on top of all the no's.he doesnt want me around he just likes the control of having me around if i want to go somewhere and he is like but i want to be with you then i am the bad guy, what would you do?!?!

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emleejanedom

Asked by emleejanedom at 4:19 AM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (910 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • He sounds like an ass. I think you need to pack up and go stay with friends or family for a while so you can grieve and heal.
    AngiDas

    Answer by AngiDas at 4:25 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I agree! Too bad its never that easy. I get the same stuff and its just extremely annoying!
    seturkey

    Answer by seturkey at 4:35 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • He sounds very controlling and emotionally abusive. Get some help before things get worse.
    SophiaofLight

    Answer by SophiaofLight at 5:18 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • You asked what I would do... I would just go for a run, no matter what he was saying... I would do what I wanted to do, and he could deal with it, or leave... you know, I think that if you don't show a man the boundaries, they tend to walk all over u, unfortunately, it sounds like you haven't done that with your DS. Leaving him is not the answer, especially if he doesn't even know that it's something your concidering... I know that we tend to want our men to know everything and have the common sense that we do, but they don't! They really don't!! Our brains work differently, if you want your marriage to get better, talk to him, and then start doing what you want because you're an adult. If you are done, leave...
    SusieQue717

    Answer by SusieQue717 at 6:52 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • There is a very good book entitled BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. I think you should read it and follow their instructions in how to deal with your husband. He cannot control you like this unless you allow him to do so, and there are ways to put an end to it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:54 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Like you said, you are a grown women, not a child. Go for a walk. Do not ask, tell him. If he does not understand what you do all day. Stop cleaning everything for a couple of days. Espeshally his stuff. He is not your boss. So you really do not need to ask him to do anything. go in his wallet and get some money and go and spend it.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:14 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Plan a date with your Dad. If he kicks up a fuss and says he wants to spend time with you, tell him that he needs to plan a date. Just because you are married doesn't mean that he doesn't need to romance you. If you are planning a run and he fusses, say "well you don't want a fat and unhealthy wife, do you?" and just go.
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 8:09 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I had a situation kind of like that with my husband. I had to stand up to him and make it clear that he could not decide what I was going to do and when. That if wanted a date, then let's plan something. but I wasn't going to just do as he wished.
    my DH came around, I hope you can work something out with yours too.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:11 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Put the kid(s) with a sitter and let him sit at home while you go out and have dinner with your dad. If his behavior continues, you could always file for a divorce, especially if he's not going to listen to you when you try to talk to him like an adult.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 12:39 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I agree with other posts. You are a grown woman dont ask tell him I am going to dinner with my dad. I am going to take a run. You cant let him control you. Hope everything works out for you
    mandynjohnsmom

    Answer by mandynjohnsmom at 2:22 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

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