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What do you think about 'adult only' weddings or showers?

For special events, my imediate family always has the children around- after all, they are part of the family and we cherish them and it just wouldn't be the same without them there. I was shocked to get an invite to my distant cousin's wedding which said adults only- including the reception. I could understand the wedding ceremony, but the reception as well?

 
IhartU

Asked by IhartU at 11:40 AM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 27 (31,412 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (38)
  • I really don't have a problem with someone choosing adults-only for their weddings, parities, etc....I think it's fine, and I respect the person's feelings about that. However, I also won't go to adults-only events like that while I have children living at home...and assume that my decision about that will be given the same respect...
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 2:52 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Your wedding, your choice. their wedding, their choice.
    Why shoudl they have their big day disrupted by children if they don't want them there?

    Chilodren are disruptive on events like these, usually only a little, but still. Other people shouldn't have to put up with children that they don't want to.
    Maybe they want a grown up wedding, drinking, adult behaviour... I'd be seriously disturbed if anyone got frunk around my child.
    Maybe they want to be able to make adult jokes, and have adult conversations without children around.
    Piskie

    Answer by Piskie at 12:01 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I think it is their wedding and they have a right to how they like it, I would get a sitter and go, it is nice sometimes to attend an adult only event. I love being around my kids, but it is nice to have space away from them as a couple.
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 11:43 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I agree with kids attending weddings but ....not showers. Kids do not belong at wedding showers.
    Can Moms just manage to seperate themselves from their kids for a few hours? I mean...what is it with the "I won't go if my kids can't go" thing? Pathetic!
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 11:50 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I think that everyone has the right to say who is at their wedding, reception, shower, etc. Not everyone wants to attend every single event they ever go to with their kids and that is fine. I have yet to see an something adult geared go well for those who brought kids. At our wedding, my husband's friend brought his son. He cried during the ceremony until he finally fell asleep. At the reception, he tore through the building because he was bored. At our dinner that night he cried so much we were close to getting tossed out of the restaurant. It was a lot worse than it needed to be. That is just one example of about a dozen I could give. Sure the parents could have gotten a sitter but didn't.

    As for people showing up with their kids after being told adults only, I would think they were being selfish ignoring the hosts wishes. I wouldn't ask them to leave I'd think twice about inviting them to another adults only event.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:08 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Awww cmon... please stop acting like your children are not welcome and we all hate them. Children completely change the dynamic of every gathering they attend and sometimes adults just like to enjoy their own company. Remember, many people don't have children and find them irritating and noisy. Please don't take offense if someone else throws an adults only wedding. Pretend you're single and go have fun. Somebody once said, "If people are supposed to learn from their mistakes then why do so many people have more than one kid? LOL
    Blabbermouth

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 12:28 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • These are extremely insensitive, putting a burden on what to do with their kids if they attend.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:41 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I did have an adults only recception. BECAUSE there was 225 people on my guest list WITHOUT children & the room we were using only held 180 people. It was thd only way we could guarantee that we would be under our room max. I did feel bad because it only left about 10 kids, but for us.. 10 was 10.

    People get sitters all the time..
    pinkcicle709

    Answer by pinkcicle709 at 11:45 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Showers can be either way. I think that showers can be like tea parties for little girls. Or showers can be very much XXX adults only.
    I took my daughter to my future dil shower not knowing that her aunt had ordered a dancer. We had to take a quick walk. Unreal!!!!
    Weddings also can be either way. IT is up to the bride and groom what type of wedding they want. An evening wedding is usually adults only.
    The last evening wedding I went to my granddaughter was the flower girl. She spent the reception asleep under the table. They had very long tablecloths. It was the last celebration we had with her mother.
    She was flower girl at another wedding in September but that wedding was at 1 pm.

    The other point is that often the cost is $50 plus per plate. And it is just cost prohibitive to have the children. Perhaps the family could plan a seperate party for the family before the wedding or after the honeymoon.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 12:07 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • cont. I cannot imagine skipping this important day of a loved one because the children are not included. This is their day. Plan something at a house nearby where all the kids can have a get together.

    It is the bride and grooms choice and it is petty for others to try to control it. Do you take your kids to evening dinner parties? My family is very much kids included, but I can see the other side and I am open to others wishes.
    If you choose not to go, you probably are not the important person they wanted to include in their ceremony and celebration.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 12:11 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

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