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What should I do about my deadbeat teenage son who trashes the house and never cleans up after himself? I want him to help out.

My 15 year old son is the oldest of 6 and doesn't understand he NEEDS to help in order for life to run smoothly. He just doesn't get it! He's so selfish.

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jen_park

Asked by jen_park at 6:28 AM on Jul. 3, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Here's my question have you placed to much responsibility on him since you have 5 other children. Have you thought about how he feels or maybe he's not really being selfish. He's going through changes and you cant help him transition because youre busy with the 5 other kids needs. I know he needs to take some responsibilty to cleaning up i get that but also hes growing up and may be really missing out on a lot of other stuff. You have to think about how you view him because he can sense your views of him and well maybe thats why he doesnt help because thats the only way he gets your attention.
    GoldieLocks18

    Answer by GoldieLocks18 at 11:12 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • lay down the law. period. he's your son, its your house, you are the boss. why hasn't he learned this yet? take away his computer, his tv, whatever it takes. soon he will be a man. he needs to learn to handle responsibility now.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 12:29 AM on Jul. 4, 2008

  • I wish I knew! I have the same problem with my 15 yr old stepdaughter. She leaves a trail of trash, dirty clothes, etc everywhere she goes and acts like I'm asking her for the world if I want her to help load the dishwasher or fold laundry. She basically just wants to lay around and text her friends all day.
    soonergirl83

    Answer by soonergirl83 at 3:32 AM on Jul. 4, 2008

  • who is the parent? who is the child?
    paige1980

    Answer by paige1980 at 5:04 PM on Jul. 4, 2008

  • Take away things! No computer, no cell phone, no anything! Tell him as he helps out he can get one thing back in his room a day. They have to learn that you have to work for things in this life. I have a 14 yr old that we are trying to teach this too!
    Alamama

    Answer by Alamama at 10:53 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • Give him chores and make consequences if he doesn't do them. Of course, he's 15, and he shouldn't be doing it all! I still consider him a child, and wouldn't put too much pressure on him about growing up and cleaning it all. Are you putting too much demands on him? He's probably not mature yet, so he doesn't understand.....but, how much are you expecting him to do? My sons, 14 and 16 don't do it all, but, still I don't expect them too......they will do dishes, laundry, mowing,table setting/unsetting....but not much else. Their rooms are their responsibility......I let them chose when to clean them, and after awhile, I see the vacuum going up....as he matures, he'll get it, but I feel that being the oldest of the 6, he isn't ready for what you expect of him. Start him off slow, so he can at least help out here and there.
    40sthenew20

    Answer by 40sthenew20 at 9:46 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

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