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what would you do in this situation?

I know that ultimately this is my decision to make but I am curious what other people would do because I am torn.
My family is very close and one of my aunts is very ill with cancer, she is not expected to live more than 2 weeks. I live 2 states away and will only be able to make one trip back "home" I have to decide if I should go now and be able to see my aunt while she is still alive, but not really cohearant or talking, and be there for my family or do I wait and go for her funeral. This is a really hard decision for me and I am having a difficult time figuring out what to do. I would love to see my aunt but I really want to be with my family when that time comes as well, there is absolutely no way that I can make 2 trips because of school,work, and expenses. What would you do in this situation?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I would go and say my goodbyes at the funeral. That closure is very important to most people. If she isn't coherent or talking then maybe its best you don't see her in that state and have that as your final memory

    Answer by mommytobe626 at 2:07 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Can you make one long trip? Stay until after the funeral? I think for a hardship school and work might make an allowance.

    Answer by blessedwithree at 2:06 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I agree with the first answer by blessedwithree and to add that if not then I would go for the funeral as a sign of respect to say goodbye. If she is not responsive at this time then, if you can, just call as much as you can when someone can hold the phone for her. Allow her to feel the vibration of the love in your voice. Your family will understand as long as you are there in some aspect.

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 2:15 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I would go for the life, not the death.

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:07 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • If I go I would only be able to stay for a week, I will have to take my kids with me (they will stay with hubby's family while I see my aunt or go to the funeral because they arent old enough to understand).

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:10 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I somewhat had to deal with this this past April when my grandfather was about to pass. I live in FL, as do my parents, and my dad's side lives in NJ...I wanted to see him while he was still alive to be able to say goodbye, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to afford going up there, flying back, and then having to fly back if he was to pass away. My parents flew up, and my dad was there when he died, and flew me and my brother up for the funeral...It sucked, I wanted to be there while he was alive, but knew that I couldn't miss his funeral and being with family at that time

    Answer by dlandrum at 2:12 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Go now when she is alive.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 2:19 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I'd go for the funeral if it was me in that position.

    Answer by CarlyCo at 2:32 PM on Oct. 10, 2010


    Answer by YUMMYNANA25152 at 3:06 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Funerals are for the living. Would you be going for yourself, your family, or your Aunt? If you treasure her, you should go now. She may not be able to speak, but you could speak to her and be with her. If your purpose would be to support family, go for the funeral.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 3:08 PM on Oct. 10, 2010