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18 Bumps

Why do people seem to think that Parenting has to equal Complete Control?

I mean, I understand that children need us, they need structure and they need parents... But isn't there a line? To me, there is a huge difference between setting down & enforcing rules and having complete control, or trying to even. Believe it or not, it isn't going to hurt your kid to pick out their own clothes once in a while... Children, and even teens (yes, those nasty teens) can think for themselves and don't need a drill Sargent, they don't need someone to make every choice in their life or punish them when they try to make their own...

Isn't our role as a parent to guide our children through life and enable to them to become the best adults they can be? If they never learn to make their own choices as a child, how do they get to a point where they can as a child?

Answer Question
 
SabrinaMBowen

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 2:28 PM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • I agree!
    older

    Answer by older at 2:32 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I agree! BUMP!
    A.Perry

    Answer by A.Perry at 2:32 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • bump from me too!
    older

    Answer by older at 2:35 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I think you should be able to contorl your kids....but not total control...im talking about being able to control them in public so they are not going crazy...but some parents take it to the extreem
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 2:35 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Amen
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 2:38 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I agree... but would take it from a different perspective.

    It has been my observation that the most controlling parents are also the most fearful. They are so afraid of what people will think of them that they end up having people thinking vile thoughts about them because of how harsh and controlling they are with their kids. Or they are so afraid that their kids will get hurt in life that they end up hurting them directly, and quite viciously, in an attempt to control everything that happens to them.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:39 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I think most parents are doing the best they can....and most parents get critisized for their choices or style of parenting....why do some parents think they need complete control? Perhaps they don't, and that is just your impression of them....or perhaps they think it's the best way to parent....maybe it's fear....maybe because in their experience they have observed the results of parents they feel were not strict enough....perhaps they are overcompensating....perhaps it's just the structure of their family dynamics....who knows....it is definitely an individual thing and there is no such thing as only one right way to parent...
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 2:41 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • My parents were so strict that I did rebel as a teenager quite a bit. My friend's mom was so relaxed that at 24 years old, my friend is still living at home, no college education, no real career, no responsibilities.

    I think there has to be a balance, and that all depends on the parents and on the kids as individuals.
    SarahLeeMorgan

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 2:45 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Exactly, you can't control every aspect of life, including your children. Many things will happen that are out of your control and you just have to learn to go with the flow.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 2:48 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • it is a fear thing! And BUMP to you,! Those parents are fear mongers, and will ceate little prototypes of them! Yu have made my day by posting something similar to my post! Thank you Sabrina!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 2:50 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

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