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How to deal or handle tantrums?

My daughter is 21mths and is begining to throw the biggest tantrums I ever seen.I mean she screams at the top of her lungs,throws her self onto the floor,kicks,anything u can think of shes does.

Their so bad that some days she gives me migranes.

How do I handle them do I ignore them until she settles down or do I step in and take charge.Sometimes stepping in doesnt even work and makes matters worse.

I kno that every mom goes through it,and its something kids will do,I'm just wasnt prepared for it to be like

Please help!!!!

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Asked by mommyjcc at 6:27 PM on Oct. 26, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (9)
  • Your lucky you made it to 21 months! My DD started around 14 1/2. For her, I thik it stemmed from learning to handle "no". I don't like to say I ignored her but I would not give her reaction the attention and I wouldn't give in. Just give her space and let her calm herself down. After maybe 2 minutes at the most, she calms down and wants me to hold her. Then we do something fun together like read a book. We still have little episodes but they don't last as long as the used to and not as many.

    Good luck!

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 6:34 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • I find that if I let me son throw a fit for about a minute then I go over to him and hold him he calms down pretty quickly. If I don't wait for a minute or so though, I would most likely get hit with a leg or arm. Once I pick him up though and talk to him and hug him, he snuggles up and calms down. He gives me headaches too sometimes with his fits and I just tell myself that it is his age(he is 19 months) and he is learning to control his emotions still.

    Answer by CashJulianMommy at 7:19 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Immediately, as soon as she throws one, no matter where you are - time out. Don't talk to her while she's in time out. Give her 1 min per year old she is. Be consistent. If she tries to get up, you don't need to talk to her necessarily, but take her and put her back in time out immediately, forcefully but gently to show your not angry but that you are the one in control, not her and that you will not tolerate this behavior. This can be done easily without words just the look on your face and your mannerisms. It will be HARD the first couple weeks probably but the more you are consistent the more you will see it work. I don't even let them finish the tantrum. I don't talk to them other than to say "No sir" or something like "we do not act like that, when you are done acting this way, then we will talk" I set them in time out, set the timer and walk away. So far out of 5 kids, it's worked great, when we've been consistent.

    Answer by pwfaith at 7:38 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • A firm spanking works great!!! My daughter would throw herself on the kitchen floor and bang her head on purpose on it while screaming if I would not give her what she wanted. The first time I picked her up and spanked her and told her not to do it again. The next time I knew she was going to do it, I told her if she throws herself on the floor and screams I will spank her again. She went running to complain to daddy but stopped throwing fits.

    Answer by janie-o at 8:35 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Whoa, don't you think spanking a child that is already having a fit a little counter-productive?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • I'm typically a supporter of spanking. We spank. But I have found for tantrums or times when they are already upset (wild crying fits, etc) spanking only exaggerates the situation. At least in my kids it does. I want them to learn to gain control before coming back to me. Exaggerating their behavior doesn't meet that goal for me, giving them space in a place alone, seems to work better.

    Answer by pwfaith at 10:52 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • I have used spanking for tantrums when my son has gotten himself hysterical and shown to me he couldn't calm down or didn't know how to focus on something else. I did have to give him something else to focus on. But, most of the time, he recovers on his own. (and by hysterical I mean screaming to the top of his lungs and running through he house while his 13 month old sister was trying to sleep- after he woke her up earlier) you have to pick your battles. If they are endangering themselves or others you have no choice.

    Answer by Shannon000 at 11:31 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Obviously it wasn't counterproductive since it worked after the first time!!

    Answer by janie-o at 12:11 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • My son is already having tantrums at 14months! He gets spanked. I dont spank him hard but I do not believe in smacking in the face because my parents did that. He likes to hit and bite now so spanking is the only thing that works. He will cry after but then he quits

    Answer by mrsmilander at 12:42 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

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