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3 Bumps

What do you think of this? Does this happen often?

I started looking at adoption situations yesterday. Several birth mothers who were looking for a match had previously adopted out children.

One birth mother had given up ten children for adoption before her current pregnancy. According to the information posted, she is not parenting any children. She just loves being pregnant and loves giving the babies to couples.

But she wasn't the only one who had previously adopted out her children before the current pregnancy. I saw others who had done the same thing, only with two or three kids, instead of ten. Is this common? Is it preferable from the standpoint of a couple looking to adopt?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (9)
  • If the woman is a "professional" birth mother, then yes- I'd say that would be preferable. If its just someone who is getting knocked up because she personally enjoys being pregnant and then hopes she can find someone to take them, no.
    MomNtheRes

    Answer by MomNtheRes at 9:08 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Wow. And not even sure what to say. I do of situations where women have been court ordered they cannot raise any children so any pregnancies after that order....when the child is born that child is automatically a child of the state. Sad. It kills me really. I have no idea about the women who you have been matched with. But I will say this - I would be waving red flags big time to my husband. I would just pass the match, say no thank you, and move on. I don't have a specific reason why, it just doesn't feel right to me. There is no moral one way or the other issue I guess. Just not liking the situation.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:17 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I don't think that I personally would do it, and I'm sure it's not *extremely* common but it doesn't surprise me that it happens. I think that as long as the woman is happy, and is doing what helps everyone, what is wrong with it? But, that's JMO.
    WomanWitty

    Answer by WomanWitty at 12:51 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I know a few moms who relinquished more than one baby. But, for a mom to relinquish one baby after another, I doubt that is common. I have heard of it a few times. Don't think there is such a think as a professional birth mom. A mother who intentionally has babies for others would be more of a surrogate than a birth mom.

    Although I do not know of any moms in this category, I have heard that some moms do have baby after baby and keep relinquishing. I have also heard their self-esteem is so low that it is the only thing they are praised for. How sad is that? However, I would question the mental state of a woman who does this over and over again. For most women, it is so painful to lose a child through adoption once, what would cause a mother to do it 3, 4 or more times?
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:33 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Unfortuantely it is very common. I am not sure about any monies the mom is receiving, but some do it strictly to make a living.
    TALuke

    Answer by TALuke at 8:47 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • My DS's birthmom is similar..she doesn't ness keep getting pregnnat so we can have them but she LOVEs being preggo but has no means to care for them. She is pregnant for the 3rd time and that is IT for us. So we will see what happens in the future, To discuss the financial piece. Every state ha different laws but in CT the birthmom DOES NOT get a single penny. In fact you CAN NOT adopt outside an agency in hopes to avoid black market adoptions.
    coolchic320

    Answer by coolchic320 at 9:37 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • It is illegal for birth mothers to make money from the relinquishment of her baby. It's called baby selling and it's illegal. So therefore it's a mental thing.


    If you adopted her child, how would you go about having an open adoption? Would you contact 10 other families so that your child can know it's siblings?

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 1:18 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • wow she's too much but then again she's providin a service. make sure whatever you do its legal you dont wanna get caught up in some mess
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 12:11 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I'm sorry but that is insane. I love the adoption option, but that is sickening. If someone loves being pregnant so much, but doesn't want to have children- why can't they be surrogates? It seems selfish to me.

    There are so many children in foster homes wanting to be adopted, so many children getting pregnant knowing they will not be able to provide for themselves let alone a baby, and so many women that are afraid they won't be able to love their child because of the circumstances that happened resulting in their pregnancy..

    There are so many good reasons to adopt out, but come on.. One or two- sad, but it happens.. Ten- that is ridiculous..
    MommaOfFiveTJE

    Answer by MommaOfFiveTJE at 7:39 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

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