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Would you have cried?

the other day my ss was over visiting and he had his iPod he showed me a music video of a man and a woman going through some hard times and eventually the man ends up cheating I did not get the name but it was a nice video meaning it was touching and sad. But the bad thing about this is that his mom went to the same thing in real life and my ss is only 16 he should this to his mom (I felt bad for her) I told told him John I would not have shown that to your mom in away it was not appropriate I asked what was her reaction...he said she cried.
I guess him being so young and innocent he wasn't thinking but atleast I said something to him I just hope he learned something.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Actually, I think at 16 boys are becoming young men, and can and should learn to be sensitive to other people's feelings. I have 3 sons, all over 16. I do take the time to talk to them about how their actions may affect other people, so I don't think that was long as you have a good relationship with him.

    I think maybe talking to his dad, and having him talkt to his son about what happened, how wrong it was, and how he hurt his mother would be a good thing.

    On the other hand, if his mom cried, your ss probably already knew he shouldn't have shown it to her.

    Answer by ohwrite at 2:26 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • a 16 is just a kid. He shouldn't have to burden the responsibilty of the feelings of his parents when it comes to something like this. He may have felt that the video helped in some way and may have been reaching out to his mom.
    I think that by saying this to him, you basically told him that it was his fault for making his mom feel bad.
    sorry, but I think you went about this wrong.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • How he communicates with his mother is between the two of them. If he found something of value in that video and chose to share it with her, that is absolutely NOT inappropriate. What was inappropriate was YOU stepping to to chastise him for interactions between him and his mother. So she cried. So what? No, he didn't "make" her cry ... she saw something that touched her heart, perhaps that she could relate to, something that resonated. So good, she cried - tears are good, emotions are good, and a teenage boy connecting with his mother is good. He didn't "do this to his mother" - and it's totally offensive that you presented it that way to him. Leave their interactions alone, it's not your place to judge. And that little guilt trip you handed him? I hope that causes him not to interact with YOU anymore.

    Answer by justnancyb at 8:53 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I am sure at 16 it was innocent. I'm sure he didn't mean to make his mom cry and he should not have to deal with any guilt because of it.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 9:08 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Why are you worried about his mom? Was she cheated on by your current husband with you and you are having a guilty conscience. Are you a friend to her? May be his mom is depressed but would she appreciate this conversation about her.

    Answer by mamakrysoftwo at 8:48 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Would I have cried if it were a video of something I could relate too that broke my heart or was emotional, of course. I am sure your ss didn't mean to make his mom cry.

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 2:23 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I am sure I would have cried too. I think you may have mishandled the situation in saying he did something bad. He saw something that reminded him of the pain his mom went through. He probably wanted his mom to know he does think about her and he does worry.

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:17 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • OP HERE Why am I being stomped on I wouldn't have done it but he did need to know. Can you ladies give me your own opinion instead of reading everyone else and play follow the leader. Geesh!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:29 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • OP, no one is following the leader. Apparently none of us agree with you though and we just all happeen to feel the same way on this topic.

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 1:20 AM on Oct. 12, 2010