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getting back on track...

Tell me if you have ever been through husband and I were fighting very badly for about a month. It really did get nasty and mean. We almost divorced. Finally about a week ago I just decided to put it all behind me and let go of hurt feelings I had and just be a good wife, mostly ignoring my feelings. I also layed down the law and told him we either get our stuff together or separate. So things are better. We have been getting along. When we've disagreed, we've managed to keep it just that and not fight. But something doesn't feel right about us. It's like our relationship feels guarded and not free. I am parinoid to freely talk to him. So I wonder if it will get better. Have you ever felt that way or went through that? Will it get better or have we lost trust in each other?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I have felt this way and felt that tension. That guarded stuff is horrible. Separation saved my marriage.

    Answer by mamakrysoftwo at 8:52 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I would try doing marriage counseling if you both feel like you need some help in your marriage. Plus, it couldn't hurt =] GL

    Answer by ajc88 at 8:54 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Not being able to be honest with one another isn't good for either of you. Being a good wife doesn't mean ignoring your feelings either. Maybe a counselor would help. Maybe sitting down and talking and not leaving until you work out a solution is possibe if you can do it w/o being insulting or nasty. It sounds like the two of you care very deeply for each other and want to stay married you just need to find a way.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 9:12 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I feel that way now and I truely feel that the reason is that we cannot communicate with out him hurting my feelings or me screaming to the top of my lungs. Maybe counseling would be a good option to get the feelings out that you are holding in.

    Answer by Justme6944 at 9:29 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I have gone through that and it sucks!!! It is sad when women have to be the bigger man in a situation. You really need to sit down and talk to him and talk not fight. Or if you can't do that write down your feelings and give it to him. But you can't just ignore it. If you don't talk about it and gets things out you will explode again and this time you may lose your marriage. Don't ignore it fix it

    Answer by samhain at 11:13 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I'm experiencing the exact same thing. I wish I had an answer for you. For us the akwardness took a long time to dissapate but it eventually got a little better, to a point where we're not as guarded all the time. We are able to tell eachother things without being scared it'll be used against us in the next fight. It's a work in progress. Some days I can truly see a future for us, while other days, I don't see us lasting at all. The only thing preventing me from giving in on the bad days is our daughter. He is absolutely awesome with her. I guess all I can say is don't give in on the bad days. Everybody tells me marriage is hard work, so Work on it.

    Answer by CassyzMom at 6:21 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

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