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How Ethical is Regifting?

So We just moved into this new area, and don't know many familes yet. My DD1 was invited to a classmates bday party about a month ago. I phoned the mother asking her to let me know what her dd was into so that we could pick up an appropreate present for her, since we don't know her well enough yet. The mother never returned my call. The invites where delivered 3 days before the actually party, so we were short on time. I picked up a present that i thought she would like, because MY daughter liked it. Fast forward to this weekend and we are at another bday party for another classmate. This bday girl opens the present from the first classmate infront of my dd. It's the present that my dd gave the first classmate! So my question is this. how ethical is regifting? Am I over reacting? My dd1 was so heartbroken to find out that her "friend didn't like the present she gave her.

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MyIslandGirls

Asked by MyIslandGirls at 7:23 PM on Oct. 26, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 11 (656 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • As long as the person does not find out I think its ok. I would be upset too if I knew that the mother was regifting and knew that my daughter would be there to see her open it. How do you knw it was a regift? Maybe she liked her gift so much that she wanted to get it for someone else.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 7:35 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Id be upset but wouldnt let it get to me. The only positive way to look at it is knowing that your daughters gift was given to someone that appreciated it instead of being thrown in the back of her closet. It still was not appropriate if that mom knew that your daughter would be there to see it
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 7:37 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • YEAH, THAT WAS TACKY. SHE SHOULD HAVE FOUND OUT IF YOUR DD WAS GOING TO BE THERE BEFORE DOING THAT.
    myboogiewoogie

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 7:55 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Perhaps the child liked the gift so much that they bought this little child the same?
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 7:59 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • It could have been a a different gift but I don't think so. it was EXACTLY the same.. same gift bag and everything (even the same tissue paper) And my dd1 asked the fist classmate if that was the one she had given her and the classmate said (becasue she has no reason to lie and kids this age don't see how it could hurt other people) "Well since you liked it soo much, we thought (bday girl) wouild like it too" I'll let it go but! still TACKY! I will never do that. I teach my kids that even if they don't like the gift, thaey should at least hold on to it out of respect. (you could always give it away to the Sally ann.. but not back the person or to some one the person knows!)
    MyIslandGirls

    Answer by MyIslandGirls at 8:03 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Man...that was a low blow! If you are going to re-gift...it must be done with some tact...if possible. I am sooo sad for your little girl. That mother should be ashamed of herself! Shame ! Shame!

    Please comfort your daughter and explain that the "friend" may have already had something like it and loved it sooo much that she wanted to share it with another friend. If it were a "bad" gift ...she would not have passed it along!

    Hugs to your lil girl!
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 8:13 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • for all you know the girl loved the gift so much the mom bought one for the next party. how do you know it was regifted?
    as a general answer to your question, I think regifting is 'ethical'. once you give a gift, it is theirs to do with as thye wish. maybe she already had one of whatever you gave her. you really have no idea what the circumstances were, and assuming the worst of people would get exhausting after a while.
    teri4lance

    Answer by teri4lance at 9:24 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

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