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5 Bumps

Do you like one child more than another?

I'm not talking about love. I love them both. I'm talking about "liking." My son's personality drives me nuts. My daughter (almost 3), on the other hand, is so caring and laid back and... we just get each other. I can play with her and spend the whole day with her and not feel stressed... even when she's having a melt down, I can deal with it. My son (age 4.5) makes my blood pressure rise within the first 10 minutes of being around him. I can't play with him because it's all about beating things up or destroying things or other boy activities that I never understood. He's got low impulse control and is constantly moving/talking/screaming/arguing/making noise. He's exhausting. I love him, but I dread being around him for very long. I feel extremely guilty about this and depressed and like a horrible parent.
Do any of you have feelings of preference for one child's personality over the other?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Oct. 10, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • I love and like both my children. They are both different individuals, so I love and like them in different ways, but I don't have a preference.
    queen.bee

    Answer by queen.bee at 10:12 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Of course, I think all parents do, even if they won't admit to it. You aren't going to have a meshing personality with all of your kids... My oldest and I never really bonded, he and his father on the other hand are the best of best friends... My youngest and I... He's my baby... So, yeah, I'm closer to one than the other, I think it's more than normal.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:13 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Yep but as they age, I have learned such an appreciation for the one that drives me nuts. I see beautiful things about him that other people can't see because they gravitate to my baby. Makes me sad because the older one is overlooked.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:17 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I wouldn't say that I like one more than the others, but I did have a harder time bonding with one of my children. I am working on it and it's getting better. It's something I have struggled with sliently for years. I love her, I just had a really hard time with her when she was a baby. So it's not her fault at all.
    twinmama2five

    Answer by twinmama2five at 10:29 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I think the problem comes about when one child is tempered much differently than an other and that happens a lot! As parents, I don't think it's fair to them, to compare our kids. If we do this, i think they feel like they are expected to be able to make accomplishments that they may not be able to make. Let them be themselves and support their individual qualities, (though sometimes they will be trying, they are kids, after all), but overall, they will be great!

    agentwanda

    Answer by agentwanda at 10:31 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Me and my oldest clash...often. I seem to disapprove of her actions much more than my younger one. I am also working on strengthening the bond with my oldest through therapy with her.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 10:43 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I have 5 and everybody in my house clashes too many different personalties but we all love each and some off my kids prefer to play with one sibling over the other at times.
    lilmama29113

    Answer by lilmama29113 at 11:12 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • i like all my children, but i think my 1 yo & i have the hardest time. i didn't want her when i was pg, & i love her now, but she's a screamer. she cries & screams for no reason, won't sleep alone, clings to me horrible, so much that i'm letting her watch tv (which i hate doing). she likes to stay on bm all day long, which hurts bc of her teeth & her playing 'tag' w the boobs. she won't listen, won't take naps, barely eats, won't play w me, & loves to make messes w dog food, dog water, rocks & her toys. tried potty training, but she'd rather pee everywhere than tell me now. sometimes she's really annoying! but my older 3? no they're really good, manners, listening, i can deal w them, bc even when they're throwing fits, they're not screaming bloody murder for hours on end w nothing wrong. i don't hate my 1 yo, i dislike things she does, & i keep comparing her to the others, & she keeps screaming for hours. but i love her!
    lilydoyle

    Answer by lilydoyle at 11:19 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • There is no preference with my three grown kids, they all have their individual personalities, and I love and like them all!
    older

    Answer by older at 8:55 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

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