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2 Bumps

True or not ??

My friend told me that it is easier for a mom to get custody of the kids if she is not married to the father... is that true ( that it is easier for a single mom to get custody rather than a married mom ) ?

My friend has 2 kids ( trying for a 3rd) , has a bank account, and just bought a house with her boyfriend ( who wants to get married) ... but she will not marry him and the only reason is that if she wanted to leave it would be easier for her to get full custody than if they were married... and she doesnt want him to be able to get custody of them ???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (14)
  • Mother's rights and dad's rights when married are often different than that of married parents. Married parents typically have equal parenting rights and share guardianship over their children, and upon separation or divorce, each parent typically has an equal right to custody.

    However, unmarried parents rights may be different as unmarried parents may not be afforded the same benefit of having these presumed rights. However, this may depend on specific state custody laws and statutes.

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 10:29 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • It doesn't sound fair, but I believe so.

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 10:34 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Why is your friend trying to have kids with a man she doesn't want to have custody of their children? I think shes crazy!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Yes I think it is easier for a single mother to be given custody than if she is married. Reason being is that when you are married, the paternity of the children is assumed that it is the husband. When you are not married, that paternity is not assumed to be the boyfriend. So until a paternity test is given, the boyfriend will have no rights to the children. But either way, a mother would have to be proven to be unfit and a terrible mother for the courts to give the father custody. I think most judicial systems believe that it is in the child's best interest to be with the mother over the father, or at least a joint custody agreement.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Not true. My brother is not and was not married to either of the women he has a child with and he has joint custody with both.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:23 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Sounds like a poor excuse not to get married. Good enough to have children with, but not good enough to marry.

    Answer by DeeMomOfFour at 11:39 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • It's easier for moms period.

    Answer by fantasticfour at 12:46 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • by saying that she is already saying and guaranteeing that she is going to end it at some point.

    Answer by DawnDietz777 at 1:23 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Why on earth are they trying to have a third child if they are worried about who will have custody ?!? This does not sound like a healthy environment to be bringing children into to me !!

    Answer by JustMyOpinion22 at 6:48 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • It depends on state law. In my state, their marital status doesn't matter but their living situation does (if the dad was living in the household and parenting fulltime, or if dad has had a separate residence and has not been parenting full time) so if they were living together it wouldn't matter if they were married or not as far as his 'claim' on the children.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:33 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

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