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My husband had an affair and I am having hard time getting over it

My husband had an emotional affair 3 years ago. I did my best to get over it. Then about a year ago he left me for a younger woman. She was the same age as his daughter. I took him back and he promised me it was over. 3 months of him being home I found out he was wearing her class ring. After that she was writing him letters and I found those. After all of that I found out that this past January she called him at work. Right now I feel like I mean nothing to him. I don't want to lose him but I can't handle another affair.

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Asked by samhain at 10:50 PM on Oct. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (58 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • At this point, I'm sorry to say you're the one putting yourself through this. Taking your husband back after one incident is one thing, but continually doing so after several issues just makes him think he can get away with anything. I would say either leave him or accept him for the asshole he is because obvioulsy things are not going to change. And use condoms.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Im sorry, I know exactly how you feel. GET OUT! Leave him! YOU DESERVE BETTER!

    Now I wish I could do it...Hmm. Its two things...Knowing what you should do and actually doing it!

    Answer by tiger_tatted1 at 10:53 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • after all this and you keep taking him back hes going to keep doing it to you because your letting him i know you dont want to lose him but maybe its for the best of both of yall and def. if yall have kids you should thank about them first good luck though

    Answer by aggheff08 at 10:53 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Do you really think that little of yourself? Get a backbone and make the loser leave.. He's using you like a doormat, and you're letting him. I'm not saying you're the cause of the affairs, I'm saying he's scum and should be treated as such!

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:54 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • You're kidding right? What exactly are you going to lose here?? A man who has no respect for your wedding vows who is clearly cheating on you or thinking about it all the time is not a prize. Talk to your family or close friends. Do some research online and look into a divorce from this guy before you end up with an STD or he has a child with another woman and has to send her child support. Good luck honey... lot's of women have gone through this and you can do it!

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 10:55 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I thank all of you for your comments. It is hard on me right now and I don't have anyone to talk to but it helps to get some advice. I have already been checked for STD's and I am clear and so is he. It just breaks my heart. This is my second marriage and I thought it would last. My first husband beat me. This one hasn't. But he had broke my heart. I just wish I knew how to fix it. We don't have any biological kids together. I have an11 year old from a previous relationship and we have custody of his son from his last marriage. I hate the thought of losing my family and never seeing my stepson again

    Comment by samhain (original poster) at 11:06 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • Why don't you ask him if he would go with you to marriage counseling? If you do perhaps you will find out what is missing out of your relationship. Good Luck I feel your pain!!!!

    Answer by Darla47 at 11:11 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • I'm sorry. Perhaps you can arrange to still see your stepson and do family-like outings but move on with your life. Some marriages just don't work out and in this case, it sounds like you've been more than accommodating. Walking away is the only way you'll ever have any self respect and it'll drive the point home to your husband that cheating just can't be tolerated...repeatedly! I'm afraid, it's not worth it. You'll never trust him. He made these mistakes, not you. Remember the third time is a charm!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:26 PM on Oct. 10, 2010

  • why would you stay with him, if he's not willing to change. don't let him emotionally abuse you.

    Answer by canta1980 at 12:45 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Why are you staying with him if he's unfaithful? Try to wash your hands of it and file for divorce. It's obvious he doesn't want to stay in the marriage. I'm sorry, sweetie.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 11:09 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

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