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13 Bumps


if a woman decide to have an abortion should a father have a say in it? why is it that it is ok for a women to make this decision and not have any considerations on the fathers wants? is it JUST due that she is the one caring the child. what if your son's wife wanted an abortion and your child was oppose to it. as a mother what would you do. Go PRO-LIFE save the unborn child JUST for your sons feelings or stand your grounds PR-CHOICE because if thats what you believe in
you cant have a double standards...???



Asked by iNk-FrEaK at 1:12 AM on Oct. 11, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 23 (15,946 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • If my son's wife/girlfriend/whatever, was pregnant with his child and she wanted to abort and he wanted this baby, I would do everything I possibly could to make sure he ended up with this baby. If I had to prove her mentally unstable and needed to be locked up until she gave birth or anything else that would stop her from aborting, well...let's just say I wouldn't give up and there wouldn't be many lines that I would not cross. I never will understand why the father shouldn't get as much say as the mother.....or even why the baby's feelings are never taken into consideration.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 1:49 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I think the father should have a say. I mean there are some decent guys out there who would LOVE to be able to raise a baby, even if the parents arent together. I think every baby should have a chance at life. I am not dissing those who are for it, and yea the woman is the one who carries the fetus, but I have been pregnant three times now and I can honestly say I would do it again. I even had my ex bf tell me to take the "morning after" pill, and you know what I did? I flat out punched him. It was not his child it was my SO's and for him to TELL me to do that pissed me off to no end.

    Answer by mama408 at 1:18 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • id stand my ground but not bash anyone if it dosent go your way im pro circumstances i only agree to abortion if dr is 110% sure the baby wont live outside the womb.. otherwise im pro life there are so many who cant give birth and would love to adopt the "unwanted" baby and give it a great home

    Answer by Kittty_Katt at 1:16 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • After seeing a mother strong enough to give birth to a baby she knew wouldn't survive, I can't see this issue as black and white anymore. I cried with a friend who gave birth to this little girl as she went up to take her baby off life support because, in spite of choosing not to have an abortion when the baby's dad wanted (due to the birth defects), she chose life.

    Honestly, the abortion would have been easier on her.

    I am still incredibly pro-life, but I see a lot more shades of grey than I used to.

    Answer by tyheamma at 2:16 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Wow - you're lumping at least 3 different debates into one question. Unless a person were actually going through something like this, I don't know that I would trust their answer because when a situation like this becomes reality, there are always going to be issues that affect a person's personal desires, which behaviors they perform, and family dynamics that are not possible to predict ahead of time.

    In either case, how a woman feels about her own daughter-in-law having an abortion may not directly translate into a desire to restrict ALL women from having abortions. I disagree with abortions, I think no one should get pregnant if they don't want to be pregnant (which is the real issue, in my book), but I think it would be foolish to make abortion illegal. If it were my DIL, I would do everything in my power to encourage her to keep the baby. I would not attempt to alter the law.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 6:49 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • The father does have a say, but at the end of it it is the WOMAN who has to carry the pregnancy, and i am totally AGAINST anyone telling another human being what they can and cannot do with their morality and their body.

    There are more than enough children in foster care already, and unless you personally are going to adopt every single child, then you have no right to tell another woman what they can and cannot do with their body.

    Answer by Piskie at 8:17 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • While I am pro-life and against abortion...ultimatly it isn't my choice and I would support and be there for my son during this hard time and do my best to bite my tongue and stay out of their marriage. It would be HARD!

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 9:14 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • ღYou really don't know what you would do until you are put in the situation...i think you have to let them make their own choices and figure things out by themself's and just sit back and be supportive!

    Answer by gracelessstar21 at 10:10 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I'm pro-choice but anti-abortion. How I see it until the day men can carry babies and go through 9 months and labor then they can have a say in it. My brothers ex wanted an abortion but he convinced her not t said he'll be there for the baby. Once the baby was born he took off and now his ex is struggling. Just because the man doesn't want an abortion doesn't mean all of them are going to man up and take care of the baby. A woman life changes completely once she gets pregnant while men just go about their merry ways. Again I'm completely against abortion but I as a woman wouldn't want to be pretty much forced to carry a baby. Yes adoption is an option but what if you were rape that emotional damage that comes with that in unbearable carrying your rapist child. I was raped and it took forever to get over I couldn't imagine those women the get pregnant after being rape go through.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:18 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I'm confused by your question because you say that you are Pro Choice and then Pro Life, so I don't know exactly how to answer your question. However I don't think that it is fair for the wife to make a decision like this especially when her husband does not want to. This is his child as well, this is also your unborn grandchild. No matter how anyone wants to look at it. There is a baby inside of this woman, left untouched this baby will grow to be a beautiful child. The child of your son, making it your grandchild. I say that if you are pro life you need to make it clear. If they really don't want a child than they can think about adoption.

    Answer by DawnDietz777 at 1:19 AM on Oct. 11, 2010