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How do you handle a child that just wont obey you, and wants to argue about everything

My son, who is 11 that I love dearly but he seems to want to push all my buttons, and then make me feel like I did something wrong,..example, He will put dirty dishes with the clean dishes in the dish washer and run it...and when I question him about it, he will say oh i didnt know they were clean!, mind you Ihave made a magnet that says..DIRTY run me..CLEAN EMPTY ME, he will either say that they were dirty! or say he didnt do it!, knowing it was his turn to do the dishes!,then say im picking on him!, and dont believe anything he says! kinda like, you know it is a sunny day you can see it is sunny and he will argue that it is a dark rainy day! , when its all said and done he will say you dont love him! grrrr it is really driving me nuts!!


Asked by kids_r_gr8 at 3:04 AM on Oct. 11, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 14 (1,713 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • My dd turned 12 in August. I have a 30 year old daughter who used to argue even MORE than my 12 year old does. It's just a "girl" thing. Not to say that boys don't argue but my dd's argued WAY more than my son did.
    I sometimes tell her to turn to the wall and argue with it which makes her angry and then she laughs.
    Most of the time I just ignore and walk away. That's all I can think to do. If you have any more ideas that work, PLEASE let me know!
    Take care!

    Answer by SunnieStyles at 8:32 AM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Well it takes two to argue.=) My 14 year old DSS is the same way and hate when I ignore him. Stop answering. He will get mad "you don't care"lol as you are not arguing this only leaves it open to say how much you DO care and that's end of story. I suggested to his teachers that he get into a debate thing. Lol.
    Breathe and watch him try to argue when you won't.

    Answer by stepho345 at 4:18 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I think it's the age. My 12 year old will sometimes act like he doesn't have a brain cell in his head, and other times will act like the smartest kid in the world.
    You with it.

    Answer by Fawn80 at 11:17 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • my dd is 13 will sometimes like to just argue .I just walk away .

    Answer by puzzled216 at 2:10 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • My kids, with the exception of the 7 year old, all went through that age but for each of them, the discipline has been different, since the personalities are different.
    It's all about understanding what the child thinks, and then applying their ideas to teach them how to respect.
    Each child in this age group is wired to challenge the rules. It shows they are thinking on their own.
    My best suggestion is to walk away during the hot headed moment, and then come back later and discuss how the moment could have been handled better. There is always some consequence for disrespect. It just depends on the situation how I decide what the consequence is.

    Answer by 6girlsrock at 4:09 PM on Oct. 13, 2010