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BABY DADDY DRAMA??? adult content

I left my daughters real dad when she was a month old and he has seen her once when she was 3 months old and she is now 10 months old... He never calls or txt me to see how she is doing and he thinks that i should tell him everything about her... also now that i am married he has been calling and telling me that i need to get a divorce because he wants me and his daughter back, (hes a male whore now) and he expects me to just up and leave my husband.. Now that he has to pay childsupport he thinks he has the right to come and go in my daughters life when he feels like it. SHOULD I ALLOW HIM TO DO THIS?? WHAT SHOULD I DO??? CAN I NOT LET HIM SEE HER AT ALL SINCE HE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER?? I just need other mothers that are goin thru the same thing or has help me with this.. he is very violent and has abused me im scared he might do the same to her and i am suppose to be the one to keep her from being hurt.. need advice PLZ

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:22 AM on Oct. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • Well if he is paying child support, i.e. helping to support the child he should be allowed... unless you really think he might abuse or neglect the baby. If you are having issues take him to court for custody areement. But if he is paying support he more then likely WILL get visitation, possibly even split custody.

    I have never met my dad. so this is touchy for me. If he is going good for himself and helping the baby (late is better then never) then it's ony right to let him... the baby deserves their father in their life... there are so many dads out there who DON'T pay child support or even care about their kids... don't take it for granted...Also don't let your relationship with him affect theirs... you all don't get along, thas fine.. you don't have too... but don't show it in front your kid...

    as for u leaving the hubs, you need to tell him thats not going to happen and to deal with it. he had hischance and blew it.
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 4:31 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • and JUST MY OPINION but "baby daddy" sounds so immature and ghetto...

    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 4:34 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • yes i do agree that he should get to see her im not saying that he shouldnt i just want it to be at like the police station when he does if he ever does... he lives in TEXAS and i live in COLORADO.. my 10 month old isnt going to his house without my ass going and i aint going back to texas and he knows that much.. and if it wasnt for the state taken him to court he wouldnt be paying anything and the only reason he wants to stick around is to know everything about me.. when he calls now its to tell me how much he loves me and she crys when he is on the phone she dont knoww him.. and my husband would love to adopt her but he wants to stay in her life so he knows my every move... He also has a son with an ex friend of mine that he has nothing to do with either which i feel is wrong and he may have a baby on the way with another ex friend of mine that he told her to get an abortion.. hes only in her life right now casue he thinks
    lieghann

    Answer by lieghann at 4:44 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • i still wanna be with him NEWS FLASH i got married because i was sick of him hurting meand all the abuse.i am afraid that he will hurt her because when she was a month old the night i left him for good he was fighting with me and hit me and then grabbed the arm she was in and i almost dropped her we was on stairs!! hes not a father figure and i just want him to either be there 24/7 like a dad should or get out and let the one guy she loves and calls dada be there for her like he is now and let her life be the way it should. yes he is her dad but in the real life he doesnt care about her at all. he told me he didnt want a lil girl and so i needed to find her real dad.. and he made me get a DNA test he even told all his friends and family hes not her dad and they think im some kind of cheating whore.. and in reality i never cheated and he knows that hes still a lil boy and yes he thinks hes black.(HE IS AS WHITE AS JACK FROST)
    lieghann

    Answer by lieghann at 4:50 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Gotta make sure have the anon. answer option unlocked if you want to answer anon. ;);)

    Welllll you didn't mention all that!! That is a sticky situation you are in.... I would suggest speaking to a lawyer before he does, if he is serious...but seeing that you are all so far away I don't think there is much he can do. If you don't want gim around... change your number or block his... block him from contacting you.
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 4:51 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Thats what i needed to know can i do that without him saying im keeping her from him??? i dont care if ppl knows its me answering to my question.. im just trying to get his info before i take him to court..
    lieghann

    Answer by lieghann at 4:53 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Okay, I was just saying that because you asked anon.


    Well seeing as though you are states away that will be hard for him. Has he made any attempts to travel to you? Have you denied them? You can explain to the courts you don't have the finanical means to bring her to him and they may make it to where if he wanted to see her he would have to do the traveling....He could also get supervised visitation where a state worker ( i believe) would have to be present when he visits. If you wanted to all together block him out b/c you are truley scared of him causing any kind of harm you could bring up the past issues with him etc.. but I really suggest lawyering up or getting a public defender... something... for that...
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 5:04 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • But like I said if he straightens up and flys straight I would let him be in her life, and help make it possible...
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 5:05 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Child support and visitation have nothing to with each other. Ask any lawyer and they will tell you that. If he wants visits let him get a lawyer to arrange it. You do not have to put up with someone popping in and out of your child's life. I will tell you though if you block him from being able to call you it probably won't help you in court. If he is calling and harassing you then make a police report about it and take that to court with you if he takes you. Make notes of EVERYTHING!!!!
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 5:13 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • ohh i didnt know i did my bad lol
    no he hasnt tried to come see her or anything like that
    i am getting 3 lawyers i have talked to all three and they are going to try there hardest to get his rights limited due to the past.. and i have his papers from where he went to jail for having a bong and pipe in the truck while i was 5 and a half months pregnant ( i had no idea it was in there) and just all the other things i have on him..
    i sometimes hope that he does prove me wrong and show me he has changed but i dont see it happening..
    THANKS FOR THE ADVICE GIRL
    lieghann

    Answer by lieghann at 5:15 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

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