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2 Bumps

Why can't they just accept me ?

When my DH and I got married my family accepted him as part of the family. They love him "warts and all". Why can't his family do the same? They constantly criticize me. When we got married his mom made a comment on my weight saying " Think of how that will ruin your family pictures." We've been married for 3 years now, we have a beautiful daughter. Shouldn't they have come around by now? Will they ever?


Asked by CassyzMom at 7:26 AM on Oct. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,127 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Because your an outsider and pulling their dear boy away from their sphere of infuence and control. At least thats my MIL's problem. She's so used to calling the shots and pulling her kid's puppet strings, that she can't stand when someone comes along and takes that ability away.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 7:49 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Just remember--there is nothing wrong with YOU, there is something wrong with THEM!
    Your DH loves you and that is what matters. I just hope he defends you when the nasty comments are made.

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:49 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • How does your husband respond to these criticisms? If he doesn't chastise them for this kind of behavior, they will in all likelihood continue.

    Answer by SWasson at 7:31 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Wow, that was really rude of her to say. I hope your hubby stuck up for you when she said that!

    Sometimes with family you have to take the good with the bad. She might be a horrible mil but how is she as a grandparent?

    My mil is the worst person I know. Not only does she suck as an mil, but even worse as a grandma. That is why I do not contact her unless it's a birthday or holiday, and let her call the shots. If she wants to come over, fine with me, but she can call me. I refuse to call her and invite her to anything just for her to come up with some lame ass excuse as to why she can't.

    And we were the best of friends while hubby and I were dating, throughout my preg. with his first child, and then as soon as we got married she hated me all of a sudden. Maybe they just can't accept that they aren't the only woman in their baby boy's life anymore.

    Just ignore her rudeness and love the ones who treat you well ;)

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:32 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Yes, she sounds like a nasty person, alright. Why on earth would you EVER say that to someone unless you are hateful? It's not you, it's HER with the problem. You're on her turf now, pulling rank, in fact and she's pissed. Just keep killing her with kindness so you know you've done your part. That's all you can do. Stop expecting any certain behavior from her. You're not ever going to get what it. Maybe she's witholding because she knows that's what you want. She sounds hateful enough to be that way. I agree with PP's, though that your DH should be the one to handle her when a crisis comes about, as I'm sure they will.

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 8:00 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • That was rude mean and hurtful to say to you. I'm not sure I'd want to be a part of this family. You sound too nice for them. Get your hubby to handle that situation.


    Answer by zbee at 8:29 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • You know you have to remember that it is there loss not yours. You are a wonderful momma, wife, daughter, sister, and most of all person so just look at it as it is there loss not yours and the ones that mean the most to you knows the true you and what a wonderful person you are. Some in-laws just don't want to let go and get to know someone else that comes to be a great person in there family.

    Answer by raemommy at 7:31 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Bless your heart.  Maybe you should have a sit down with them or talk to your dh and tell them what they have said.


    Answer by luvmygrlz at 7:32 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Wow at least my husbands family fakes it lol

    Answer by at 7:58 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Lol, works4mom!!! My DH did eventually start to stick up for me. They also fake it now-in front of him. They still don't hold back when it's just them and me and then denies it when I tell DH and he confronts them. I've stopped telling him. I let sleeping dogs lie. Lol. They're very childish.

    Comment by CassyzMom (original poster) at 8:05 AM on Oct. 11, 2010