Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

SHOULD I?

I am 19 and pregnant. Me and the father are in a great relationship. I keep thinking that we should do what is best for this baby. The problem is I don't know what is best, adoption or keeping the child. I'm only 9 weeks pregnant, I have time to think but I already have love for this child. As we all know, unfortunately-love can't buy the baby things that it needs. I am suppose to start a new job soon (minium wage) and I'm sure I won't be there for long once they realize I'm pregnant or once I tell them. My boyfriend has a decent job but honestly, it's not a salary for 3 people. I just need some advice. I'm not married, haven't started school, just recently graudated high school and am completely lost. HELP!

Answer Question
 
BRITTN3Y

Asked by BRITTN3Y at 9:18 AM on Oct. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 5 (58 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • well i was 23 when i got prgnant with TWIN boys so imagine how overwhelmed i was! i considered abortion.... i could never hand my child over and not know what becomes of them and god forbid if they were mistreated. and somehow the realizeation came to me that this had happened for a positive reason and that i was needed and vice versa. i tried working it out with their father but twice it did not work out so now they are three and im a happily single mother. working two jobs both min. wage. and i do my schooling i moved near family i applied for state aid and life has worked out for the best. so do whats best but always remember you brought em into this world so it is your responsiblity to provide the best that you can and raise em to be a good, caring person. best of luck with your decision
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 9:31 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I am 18 and 20weeks pregnant And i am keeping my baby even though i to am not financially stable. i have a temp desk job and my bf works at ihop making 8.50(min wadge) but we created this baby. I too thought about all the posibilitys besides keeping it. but think(well with me) if you were to give your baby away you would regret it big time later in life because, you will always wonder what there doing and what if you had kept him/her. babys are hard but they can bring so much joy to your life. even if there not the most spoiled baby at lease she'll have her mommy and daddy. you know? And as for you i would try and find a job at a desk like a receptionist. thats what i do and i got hired with no exsperience and get 10 dollars an hour. Its not fun but its better for you an they don't care if your pregnant.
    good luck- michelle
    michellezk210

    Answer by michellezk210 at 9:35 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • i got preg. . when i was 18 and ended having an abortion under the pressure of my then bf...it was awful..and i regret it every day... i think giving up ur baby or keeping it is entirely up to u and ur bf... if you feel like you cant handle it or your baby would have a better life that is something you have to live with forever...adn if you decide to keep it that is also your decision..dont let anyone sway you to either side bc noone has to live with your choice but you.. you have a long time to think about it and decide but either way you choose im sure you will do the best for your baby... i wish you luck and send prayers your way to give you strength...
    zperez0809

    Answer by zperez0809 at 9:42 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • This is tough to me. I believe if two people consented to have sex, they should have known about the consequences of that decision. I feel as though you need to do whats best for you and the baby and only you can atest to what YOU feel is best. This is a desicion that YOU need to make alone because you will be living with the decision you made without influenece from someone else.
    KayGia0704

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 9:42 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Do you think your parents would help? If so then this CAN be done. I had my first when I was working at the Huddle House as a waitress and my ex wasn't working at all. Thankfully my mom and I got a place together and she helped me. Without her I don't know WHAT I would have done, but I would have done something to keep my little Angel. :)
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 9:48 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I graduated hs in June in October of that year I was pregant and working at McD. there are plenty of programs out there to help young mom's still accomplish what they need to in life. Granted now things will be harder. You want to go back to school & work and care for your baby it will be hard but worth it in the long run. Honestly I feel you should only give your baby away for adoption if you know you can't properly care for or don't even want your child, because there are plenty of people out there who would love and appreciate a child in their life. have you talked to your boyfriend about your concerns? You said his salary isn't enough for 3 people well what about you working as well with him? You both are a team & need to support each other. This is new and it can be intimidating, but with the right mind set & determination you can make anything work. Stay positive.
    LasciviousVamp

    Answer by LasciviousVamp at 10:32 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Well, in all honesty this is a decision only you can make. Do you think you could carry the baby for the full 9 months and then give it up to another family? How do you think that would affect you? What does your boyfriend want to do? I'm pretty sure that your job cannot fire you for being pregnant-Isnt that discrimination? Between the 2 incomes do you think you could afford it? Remember you have 9 months to buy all of the things you'll need. I hope you make whatever decsion is best for you! goodluck!
    n03z07l08

    Answer by n03z07l08 at 10:34 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Ok, maybe it makes be a bi*** for saying, but I would adopt. I know there are great experiences that come from having a child and experiences that you have while being pregnant. Of course there are options. State help, parental help, etc, but at the same time I personally feel that unless people can take care of their kids, they shouldn't have them (This is not just financially speaking either. My dame discrimination goes to people who think it is ok to leave their kids with a sitter so they can go get wasted, or people who put their kids in front of a tv all the time) I have to work my arse off to make money and pay for the things I have. I personally begrudge state help in certain circumstances. I think it's great temporary means, but most people don't move past it. You get stuck. Not everyone, just a lot. I don't think it's shameful to adopt, and probably the smarter thing to do, but head and heart don't always agree
    Pumelo

    Answer by Pumelo at 10:46 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN