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how should I have reacted to this?

I know this isn't the appropriate category to post this, but I believe a broad perspective helps me make better decisions. I need advice about my son, a 14-year-old. He came home from school yesterday with a slight limp, so I asked him what happened, thinking that he suffered an injury in gym or at practice. To the contrary, he told me (albeit reluctantly) that he had been hit in the balls. I asked what happened, he tried to dodge the question, I asked again, and finally he admitted that he had intentionally “grabbed” a girl's backside, and that she had kneed him.

On one hand, I felt bad for him because he was in pain from the knee in the balls, but, on the other hand, I was furious with him because I didn’t raise him to treat women that way. Quite simply, I was torn between A) sympathy and B) feeling as if he deserved it.

In my position, how would you have reacted, and what would you have said to him?

Answer Question
 
Jessica6969

Asked by Jessica6969 at 8:52 PM on Oct. 26, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I think both reactions were right. Sympathy because your baby is in pain. Momma bear, right? But I would also be furious!! Even though you raised him correctly, he obviously just had to try it out for himself!

    I would wait for myself to calm down and his pain to go away and then I would say something to him. He did get some kind of punishment but he might need a reminder on why that was so inappropriate.
    jcsscfam5

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 9:06 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Can you tell us what answer you want to that you don't have to keep re-posting this?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • I would have told him he deserved it!!
    amydh

    Answer by amydh at 9:27 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • I think that I would have felt the same way. I also think that I would talk to him about why he thought that was appropriate behavior and if he thought the girl had a right to hit him.

    Hopefully he learned his lesson and he won't be doing that again.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 9:58 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • I'd have told my son he got what he deserved. I would have felt bad about him hurting, but I sure as hell wouldn't let him know it!
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 10:34 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • I would have told him he deserved it and I probably would have been laughing while I said it.
    AuntieM

    Answer by AuntieM at 12:17 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • I would feel both ways too.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 11:03 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Hopefully he has learned his lesson as to where his hands belong...with that said, I understand exactly what you're saying but you must take into consideration that despite every good thing we teach our children at home, sometimes it takes a hard knock to ge them to realize that what we speak is the truth...shake it off mom...let him know that his behavior was uncalled for and hopefully this was his warning not to EVER do it again...
    treasured_hope

    Answer by treasured_hope at 11:46 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • i would have told him he deserved it, he shouldnt be going around, disrespecting women that way. If i was that girl i would have done the same. I am glad she did that to him, becuase thats exactly what i do/
    tiffany275

    Answer by tiffany275 at 3:21 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

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